Anthony 0:00
Greetings, adventurers and welcome to the Adventure Incorporated Podcast. I am your Dungeon Master. My name is Anthony Reed. This is episode 42, and it is the second episode of the Twist of Fate story arc. I want to give a shout out to our Patrons, patreon.com/adventureinc. You know, without the Patrons, would we do the show? Yeah, I’ve said that before. You know, the show is a free thing. We’ll always probably do the show, but the Patrons have allowed us to do so many cool things like our Tavern Nights at twitch.tv/SrsBiz_Network. You’ll hear a mention of those this episode. And you should come and join us on those every third Thursday at 8pm on Twitch. It’s some more bonus Adventure Incorporated content. It’s semi canon. There’s cool characters. There’s all kinds of stuff you’re gonna love if you love the show, so come and join us there. The shows are up 2 weeks afterward on demand to watch the video. It’s totally worth it. So come and check that out. And those only exist because of the Patrons and so again, big thank you to them. If you aren’t a Patron, you should head over to patreon.com/adventureinc. You should become a Patron, and if not head to our Discord and give them a thank you. I’ve sent you 3 places. I’m sorry. There’s 3, just 3 chief places to go. And here’s the fourth place because you can find links to all of that stuff at adventurincpod.com. You can find links to the Discord. You can find links to the Patreon. You can find links to the shop. You can find links to the world guide, and you can find links, yes indeed, to our Twitch. So head over there. You can see everything you need to see from one convenient location. And episodes also, I guess if you’re not- if you’re listening to this episode, I feel like you probably have access to the episodes, but, you know, pretend you want to show someone, I guess. You could- please do that also. Yeah, all right. I think this is- I think you get my point. You get where I’m going with this. So, why don’t we get started?
Nobles and farmers, knights and scoundrels, gather round, gather round to hear a tale of excitement and mystery. Brave adventurers, facing grave dangers.
Belroth, the Ranger.
Belroth 2:20
She’s a Grimalkin. That’s, uh, but that’s understood. No pets allowed, even though she’s not a pet. I will wait outside. Everyone, if anyone needs anything, I am outside.
Anthony 2:30
Skarpin the Cleric.
Belroth 2:32
Should I just try and snipe them from over here?
Skarpin 2:35
Yeah, okay. I did say there was good as dead. I would hate for, you know, to break my word on our first contract with Adventure Incorporated.
Anthony 2:43
Ellori, the Bard.
Ellori 2:45
We would want you to leave this warehouse.
Anthony 2:49
He points behind it. Church!
Ellori 2:52
Oh, sorry. We want you to leave this church.
Anthony 2:56
Deeran, the Wizard.
He say, you no worship Shattered Fang.
Deeran 3:01
Yeah, man he’s like, super wrong. We love Broken Tooth- uh, Shattered Fang, man.
Anthony 3:06
Prepare yourselves, for these are the tales of Adventure Incorporated!
You have 2 days in this city before you will know if you are going to be rewarded or not. What do you want to do with those 2 days?
Deeran 3:33
Everyone at once.
Anthony 3:34
Everyone at once, tell me what you want to do with those 2 days. 1,2,3, go!
Adventure Incorporated 3:38
~All speaking at once~
Skarpin 3:39
-with Belroth to the Adventure Incorporated broker and send a letter.
Deeran 3:44
Yeah, Deeran’s gonna make sure as Belroth is writing the letter like, he’s gonna stand over him with a beer and be like, oh, don’t forget to tell him how cool this part was, man. And like, I imagine Belroth does not do any of that.
Belroth 3:58
Never once.
Deeran 4:01
All right, fine.
Belroth 4:01
Well, I feel like Belroth would drop that off and then like for the rest of the 2 days would go to the library. And there’s no- you said there’s no like, Teachings of Diam place at all that I know of?
Anthony 4:14
Yeah, there doesn’t appear to be although, you know, it’s pretty rare.
Belroth 4:17
Sure, he’s definitely looking for some spiritual guidance so he might- if, if Skarpin goes to a temple of sorts, he might follow.
Skarpin 4:29
He doesn’t. He goes to the adventurer shop to see what he can buy with his gold someday.
Anthony 4:36
Okay. Are you gonna make me generate your shop just to browse?
Skarpin 4:43
It’s your game, man. You don’t find one, asshole.
Deeran 4:49
Wait, I have a question.
Anthony 4:50
Yeah.
Deeran 4:52
If you generate the shop will it still have the same inventory when we get paid?
Anthony 4:58
No.
Belroth 4:59
Okay, then don’t-
Skarpin 5:00
I’m staying there until we get paid.
Anthony 5:03
You assume you’ll get paid.
Belroth 5:06
Yeah, we do assume. That’s right.
Anthony 5:08
That’s a big assumption. It’s a big ‘if’.
Skarpin 5:13
Apparently we can just ask for rewards, I guess. That’s exciting. Hey, we did some cool shit.
Anthony 5:21
You guys have never tried before so, you know, there you go. Here you go, Mikey. I’ve generated your shop. So, well, here’s what we’ll do: we’ll say so, Steph wants to spend time with her parents- or Ellori wants to spend time with the parents.
Ellori 5:39
I would take time with my parents. Me, Stephanie, I would take some time with them.
Anthony 5:42
I mean, you can do that if you want. I just probably won’t record it. It feels like it would be weird.
Deeran 5:47
It’s good content.
Ellori 5:48
Yeah, it’s always good content.
Anthony 5:50
And then we’ll say that Belroth is gonna head to a library, Skarpin, you’re gonna head to an adventure shop, and Deeran what did you ultimately settle on for your 2 days.
Belroth 6:01
~Gasp~ Sorry, I just saw the shop. I saw a really cool item.
Skarpin 6:10
You’re not there.
Belroth 6:11
Sorry, you’re right.
Anthony 6:13
I hope there’s a flying broom in the shop but Mikey can’t afford it.
Deeran 6:20
Yeah, Deeran- a library sounds so boring, and Deeran doesn’t want to crash Ellori’s like, family party.
Ellori 6:29
She would absolutely let you. No question.
Deeran 6:33
Yeah. So pre- like, pre everybody heading out Deeran like, when they’re talking about it Deeran’s like, I don’t know. I’ve never been here before. What’s cool to see here, Ellori? Like, what are the-
Ellori 6:47
Oh, I’ve never been because I’ve never had my big girl success pants on.
Deeran 6:53
Deeran looks down. And he’s like, those are it?
Ellori 6:58
Well, I think, I think she meant to metaphorically because I had never like, done something really successful in my life so we never come to the capital because she said that, you know, coming to the capitol is really only worthy of like, when you’ve done something really good.
Deeran 7:11
Oh, that makes- okay.
Ellori 7:13
So, I don’t know, but you’re more than welcome to come see my parents with me if you want to. Everyone is.
Deeran 7:18
Yeah, no, no offense Belroth. No offense, man. I just, you know how I get like-
Belroth 7:25
Oh, I never expected for you to join me. I would, I would have gladly had you join me, but like, this isn’t the first time we’ve had the opportunity to go to library and you were like, no. So, I never had any- that’s totally fine. Go have fun with Ellori.
Deeran 7:43
If it’s like, if it’s a cool looking library or whatever. Like, if there’s, if there’s like, art in the library will you let me know so that maybe on day like, day 2, I can go pop by and like, see what’s up?
Belroth 7:57
Uh, sure.
Deeran 8:01
Yeah, like, just if there’s like, cool stuff to see.
Belroth 8:04
I mean, it’s a library. There’s lots of cool things to see, but I mean, that’s fine.
Deeran 8:07
Beside the books, yeah.
Belroth 8:09
There’s picture books, Deeran. I mean, I don’t know what do you want from me?
Deeran 8:13
I can read, man!
Belroth 8:14
You’re the one who doesn’t want to go to the library! You’re asking me to tell you about pictures!
Anthony 8:21
Right. So, while this conversation happens, and before they all head out, I guess Skarpin is already gone. He’s at the adventure shop. So, we’ll handle this. Skarpin, you head into the adventure shop. It’s called the, the Grandest Blade. And yeah, the, the person behind the counter as you walk in. She looks up at you. She smiles very broadly. She is an elf, and she has a long brown hair like, that’s scraping against the floor in its braid. And she says, welcome, welcome.
Skarpin 9:03
Ah, hello there. You have quite a nice shop here. I’m happy to take a look around.
Anthony 9:10
Of course, of course. If there’s anything that catches your eye, please let me know and I’d be happy to assist you.
Skarpin 9:19
Thank you, thank you. And Skarpin’s gonna kind of casually just look at a bunch of stuff, but then say, before, before I get too far along I wanted to give my condolences. There seems to be a lot going on in this area with this Demon Isles, and the demon scourge of the land. How has it been affecting your, your business?
Anthony 9:44
Well, it’s- there’s been some difficulty no doubt. No one from the Isles coming in has made trading a little bit harder. But there’s still good supply coming from the, from the mainland. And so I get regular turnovers in my inventory, and there’s quite a few adventurers down here trying to get their hands on a big Spellstone score. You know, there’s more and more of it being found in the mountains and if they can, you know, pull out a big haul from the mountain that’s, that’s worthwhile to them so we still get a fair number of adventurers and it’s dangerous in the mountains to try and fight out through there alone. So, you know, it’s good, pretty good turnover.
Skarpin 10:28
Sure. Oh, that’s great to hear. That’s great to hear. My group and I The Expedition Society of Sudden Secrets. We have been traveling, and we’ve actually been spearheading the- combating the demons here. So, I’m in your shop actually to supply up and see if I can gather some assistance from the local townsfolk.
Anthony 10:52
TESSS, ah?
Skarpin 10:58
That’s correct. He said TESSS, ah.
Ellori 11:09
That’s savage.
Skarpin 11:10
That’s what I said. Not great with branding apparently. Yeah, well, it’s a TESSA. I think mispronounced it-
Anthony 11:32
Ah, okay.
Ellori 11:36
The ‘A’ in ‘Secrets’ is silent.
Anthony 11:40
It’s a secret A.
Skarpin 11:49
Yes. So, we’re hoping to get some assistance from the town folk on this, this terrible, terrible problem that I’m glad it hasn’t affected your business so far, but few towns over there were actually almost destroyed from within. So, we’re hoping to get some, honestly help from the town shops and discounts and gifts, if you will, to fund our adventure.
Anthony 12:21
The door opens and incomes a large,- well like, a human right. He’s regular sized human, but he’s a bard. You can tell by the instrument strapped to his back. And the person behind the counter says, oh, well, maybe Cornelius could help you. This is one of the great talents of our area. This is Cornelius Markon. Cornelius, this is one adventure from TESSS-
Skarpin 12:52
A.
Anthony 12:55
And Cornelius sees you and he bows to you. And he says, why hello. Yes, I am Cornelius Markon, and I am a great traveler of the roads and Teller of Tales. As she has pointed out I have a great deal of information that I might impart upon you. Have you heard that the Demon Isles have come under assault and that there is a great disturbance spreading its way across the Empire?
Skarpin 13:27
I was just telling the shopkeep here. I’m so sorry, I didn’t get your name.
Anthony 13:32
Cornelius. Cornelius Markon.
Skarpin 13:35
The shopkeep, I didn’t catch your name.
Anthony 13:39
Oh, I’m hardly a figure of import here, but um, my name is Tess. That’s why I’m so interested in your group name.
Skarpin 13:50
Oh, wow. That’s interesting. So, Cornelius, I was telling Tessa all about the demons and how terrible they’ve been scourging the land.
Anthony 14:08
Yes, yes, it has been a talk amongst many across the Empire as I’ve been traveling these many months.
Skarpin 14:17
So, I think a reasonable demon hunter discount is in store. What do you think Tess?
Anthony 14:26
Oh, no, no, that would not be wise at all. No, soon it will be all of us who must face the demon scourge. To give a discount to any who would walk in who is facing the demon threat, well, that would be a poor business decision indeed.
Skarpin 14:44
I worry that we won’t be able to suit up accordingly. This is a very expensive endeavor we’re undertaking so your shop might be in ruins here soon.
Anthony 14:58
Well that seems unlikely. I mean adventurers who are of the right stock will be in to purchase things. I have no doubt. I have no fear there. And indeed, it is important for us to support our businesses. Local business is the cornerstone of the empire. Without it, it would simply fold. And if we don’t properly support those who are providing and outfitting our adventuring selves, then we’re really, we’re just asking for the big box adventuring stores to roll in and undercut their prices and then we’re all left with lower quality items. You know, a magic sword that can’t even take Spellstone. It just has a few uses, and you throw it away like some disposable thing. No, no. Total travesty.
Skarpin 15:45
It’s a shame. It’s a shame because the convenience of those could be passed by being able to equip here, but alas, it sounds like this isn’t the shop for the demon battles ahead. But good luck in your endeavors and-
Anthony 16:01
Go ahead and give me a Persuasion Check.
Skarpin 16:06
Natural one.
Anthony 16:12
Natural one also. Tess is like, you know, I think it might be best if you just both took this somewhere else. I don’t know that I need this sort of energy in the shop. You know, I’m trying to attract customers here and this, this is getting a little heated.
Skarpin 16:38
Alas, yes. Yes. All right. Well, good luck with your ‘shop’ as you call it. And he leaves.
Anthony 16:46
Did you want this- anything here? No? You head back out into the street and a few minutes after you leave Cornelius comes out of the shop. And, following along, he says, oh, wait there, TESS-Ah.
Skarpin 17:05
Oh, yes. A member of TESSA. Yeah, that’s me. I’m Skarpin Nightholder. Nice to meet you.
Anthony 17:12
Skarpin Nighthold, yes. Wonderful. Look, Skarpin I’ve just heard some things in there that you apparently were telling Tess about your group or whatever. And I’d love to hear your story and perhaps gather it as a collection for part of my tales that I tell around. It sounds like maybe there are some great important things you might be able to share with me.
Skarpin 17:38
Lots of important things going on and seems like nobody seems to care.
Anthony 17:45
Well I care. I’m happy to collect this tale and tell it from here to the Northern end of Prosperity. You know, as far as I can travel, I will tell your tale.
Deeran 17:58
Ellori Are you sure like, I’m dressed right for this? Like, should I get a haircut first or anything?
Ellori 18:04
Why would you need a haircut just to meet my parents?
Deeran 18:07
Well- yeah, I guess. I guess you’re right. Good point. Oh, there’s Skarpin up there. And he’s, he’s talking to Cornelius.
Ellori 18:18
Oh, was he at the bar that we met in the tavern that one time?
Deeran 18:21
Yeah, yeah.
Ellori 18:22
The one that told us about all the demons?
Deeran 18:23
Yeah. Oh, wait no, he just looks so much like him. No.
Anthony 18:31
The one that told you about the demons was in the past.
Deeran 18:33
Yeah.
Ellori 18:33
Oh, yeah.
Deeran 18:34
Cornelius was the one that we met at The brightest Star that one that one night. It was like, a wild night.
Ellori 18:42
Yeah, no, no, no, I remember now. I remember that he told us some stories. Um, I just couldn’t, you know, you know how the nights at the Brightest Star get.
Deeran 18:51
Yeah, sometimes it feels like they’re, you know, you experience them for just a little bit and then they’re gone forever.
Belroth 18:56
And you too, listener can as well every third Thursday we have a Tavern Night where we streaming character. Fun times. Anyway.
Deeran 19:05
Twitch.tv/SRSBiz_Network. But, yeah, man like, we should go see what’s going on with them. Sure. Yeah. I guess like just just real quick, you know, before we like, meet up with your parents or whatever, it’ll be like a good you know, pre-thing.
Ellori 19:22
Okay.
Anthony 19:24
As you approach, he suddenly whips around to you, and he says, ah, look as I, the great Bard will present to you one of the great heroes of our day who has been regaling me with his tale. This is a member of TESS-Ah, and you will know his name, Skarpin Nightholder before this year is through.
Deeran 19:48
Well, yeah, I better. How you doing, Skarpin? And Deeran, puts like, he puts his arms out for a hug.
Skarpin 19:54
Great, great, gives him a hug. Cornelius, I’ve been telling him our adventures in their entirety.
Anthony 20:01
And already your story spreads so far. You have been noticed and recognized in the street by total strangers.
Skarpin 20:08
Yes. Yeah, sure.
Ellori 20:11
Wow, Skarpin you’ve gotten a lot done in the very little time that we’ve been apart. We, I mean, all we’ve done in the past little bit is we stopped for some food because Deeran said he can’t meet my parents on an empty stomach.
Deeran 20:25
Yeah, you know, I didn’t want to like, be gurgly.
Ellori 20:28
We went into a clothes store because Deeran said that he can’t meet my parents with the bloody shirt.
Deeran 20:32
Yeah, that’d be rude.
Ellori 20:34
And then we stopped in another sweet store because Deeran said he can’t meet my parents without bringing them a present.
Deeran 20:40
Right, imagine not bringing a present!
Ellori 20:44
And then we were almost gonna stop in a hairdresser store because Deeran said he can’t meet my parents with long hair.
Deeran 20:49
Look at this mop, man!
Ellori 20:51
But I think I’ve talked him out of that, and I think we’re finally ready to go see my parents now.
Deeran 20:55
Yeah, we just wanted to say hi to Cornelius before we headed over.
Anthony 20:59
Ah, yes. Well, to my adoring fans, then I say, thank you for coming to see me here in the street. And I’m, I’m busy writing my next ballad off the words of this fine adventurer and you will hear it.
Ellori 21:13
Can you give us a preview?
Anthony 21:15
Well, not yet. I haven’t gotten it yet from him. I’ve just started.
Ellori 21:19
Well any good Bard should be able to do something right off the top of their head.
Anthony 21:22
Well, okay.
Deeran 21:24
Yeah, at the very least, could you at least tell us how things are going with Milo?
Anthony 21:30
Who, who asked you? Who sent you?!
Deeran 21:34
I just, you know, last time we hung out like, it was a- it seemed like a pretty big deal. And I just wanted to make sure everything was good.
Anthony 21:42
Cornelius narrows his eyes at you. And he leans over to Skarpin. He says, have I met them before?
Skarpin 21:52
Maybe.
Anthony 21:56
Oh, since the last time we hung out?! Yes, of course. How foolish of me. Oh, things are great. I mean, it’s so good to see you again. It was such a, such a fun experience, the last time we’re all spending time together. And I’m, just I’m so looking forward to the next time we spend time together that isn’t right now. Boy, it’s been so great.
Ellori 22:19
Well we’ve got somewhere to be as well.
Anthony 22:20
Oh, yes, of course. Well, you are- you’re some of my favorite people. And it’s so good to see you again. So good. I’m just thrilled to have run into you.
Ellori 22:31
Oh, that’s a little embarrassing, Cornelius because I honestly I forgot where we had met you.
Deeran 22:38
Yeah, Cornelius, you would never forget, right?
Anthony 22:40
No, never and I did take no offense to that. Don’t worry, my dear. You’re fine. But, you know, a lesser man might be a little offended, I think, but I’m, I understand that you’re a busy person. You’re a great adventure. You have many things going on. And, and you can appreciate that sometimes people who meet a lot of people have a hard time placing people. So, you’ll get that and there’s no, no worries, of course.
Well, thanks, Cornelius. Yes, it’s been great.
Good luck doing the thing you do, and I’m sure we’ll see each other again.
Ellori 23:14
Okay, bye. Come on, come on
Deeran 23:18
I’m coming. Deeran’s palms are so sweaty like, he wipes them on the front of his cloak, and like, it leaves like, a like, a wet mark.
Anthony 23:29
Belroth, you arrive at the library. As you come in the library is large and pretty much empty except, yeah, it’s actually a very impressively large library. It’s very large, and it’s largely empty except for the librarian who is a Tiefling.
Belroth 23:53
Hello. My name is Belroth Beacon. I am a professor of Chimerology. I would like to see your-
Ellori 24:01
Shhh!
Belroth 24:07
Do you have a Chimerology section?
Anthony 24:10
Chimerology? Well, yes, there is a pseudo-science section toward the back of-
Belroth 24:17
It’s not-
Anthony 24:17
-the library if you want to-
Belroth 24:19
What about a bestiary kind of- the sort of the texts of taxonomy and-
Anthony 24:27
Oh, yes, we have some great works produced by the Black Scale on all matters of bestiary and taxonomy of creatures and, and biology, yes.
Belroth 24:39
Wait, so, in this world- this is Rob. In this world is like, Chimerology like chiropractic. Like, some people are like, yeah, my doctor referred me to a chiropractor, but it’s still technically a pseudo-science. Like, is that-
Deeran 24:53
It’s still quackery?
Belroth 24:54
Yeah.
Anthony 24:55
I think that it’s not common because the creatures are not like, as prevalent, right?
Belroth 25:03
I just want to know if Belroth should be offended or not.
Anthony 25:06
I think a little, right, because you’ve done real work with real creatures and that aren’t like, normal or typical. Like, there’s definitely weird stuff happening, but everybody dismisses it because like, they’ve- no, yeah, the skeleton that you- that cat with the- you glued batwings to like, okay, dog, you know?
Deeran 25:28
People think, people think Belroth is making up Jackalopes.
Belroth 25:36
So, well, okay, so he finds out that one- the pseudo-science section as well as the actual science section. Because he, he would like to do research on the creature that he talked about with the Quart of Beggars. He wants to do a little bit of that. I’ll message.
Anthony 25:58
Okay, and then roll me a d100, and tell me the result of that also.
Belroth 26:04
Okie dokie. A d100. That’s a d20. That’s not it.
Deeran 26:12
Roll that 5 times.
Anthony 26:14
No, that’s not the same.
Belroth 26:16
89.
Anthony 26:19
Okay, so you start to dig into the information you’re looking for on unicorns.
Belroth 26:31
Yes.
Anthony 26:34
Well, you’re able to, you’re able to gather a lot of information about unicorns. Some of it is, you know, pseudo-myth.
Belroth 26:43
Yeah, I’m imagining that there’s like, a there’s like, a big Chimerologist name, who’s like, he’s really pinned his whole career on like, he studied a lot of unicorns, but he still perpetuates the myth that they only present themselves to like, the pure of heart. Like, that kind of guy. He’s got like, he’s got like, extensive taxonomy, but he’s like, but you must remember children. He’s like, fuck off, Michael. Like, this isn’t- you’re the reason no one trusts us.
Anthony 27:12
So, yeah, well, I mean, there’s a lot of myths around unicorns. One of the things you mentioned, right, is that this, this idea of purity, this idea of- that they are like, antithetical to evil in some way, you know, however, you define that-
Belroth 27:28
Rolling his eyes and still writing it down.
Anthony 27:31
Right, there is the- there are concepts that they are, you know, difficult to find and difficult to track because they have some way of evaluating those who seek them. But there is also talk within it of the magical properties of a unicorn. Things like a unicorn’s horn being used as a stand in for any material component for any spell, or ritual, that a unicorn horn can be that material component and provide power.
Belroth 28:01
And any sort of information on locations, habitats, where they might be found? Things like that.
Anthony 28:10
Yeah, the stuff that you see most commonly puts them in the northern half of the Empire. Historically, like, way historically, they would have been in the Untamed Forest. However, there has not been any sightings in the Untamed Forest in a very long time. More recently they would have been in the, sort of that middle band of the Empire near like, Mughamar and Ashland, but in the Northeastern- the Northern and Eastern forests along that band.
Belroth 28:45
Okay. Northern and Eastern?
Anthony 28:48
Both the Northern and Eastern.
Belroth 28:52
Okay. And he’ll, he’ll like, kind of do some research on that. He’s always on the lookout for anything about demons, if something catches his eye, but that’s not necessarily his objective if that makes sense.
Anthony 29:06
Yeah, I think probably with the how- the way that you rolled on that like, you were pretty laser focused today on unicorns
Belroth 29:14
Sure, sure, sure.
Anthony 29:21
So, for Deeran and Ellori you arrive at the, the location that you know that your parents are like, basically refugee’d up in for the time being. Your grandmother told you about the tavern- the inn that she sent them to and the small room that they have there.
Ellori 29:42
Okay, um, should we, should we have someone send a note up or should we just go up to their room? I don’t know. I’ve never, I’ve never met my parents in a strange place before. What if they’re not-
Deeran 29:57
I’ve never met your parents in a strange place before either.
Ellori 30:01
Let’s just go up. Let’s just go up and knock on the door. To see the surprise on their face is going to be amazing.
Deeran 30:07
Oh, yeah, okay. And Deeran follows behind like, 3 or 4 steps behind.
Anthony 30:14
Okay. Yeah you head up into the hallway. It heads to the upstairs area where the rooms are in this inn, and the long hallway- there are only 4 rooms off of this hallway.
Deeran 30:27
Once we hit the hallway Deeran reflexively Casts Mage Armor on himself without thinking. Like, it just happens.
Ellori 30:36
Deeran, what are you-
Deeran 30:37
What? Oh, oh, that’s weird. And he like, shakes it off.
Ellori 30:43
They’re not gonna hurt you, Deeran.
Deeran 30:45
No, I know.
Anthony 30:46
He just makes it invisible. It’s still there.
Ellori 30:50
Okay, she knocks.
Anthony 30:52
One minute! After just like, a couple of seconds your mother opens the door, and Faille Realtanam is standing across from you. And she gets just like, her eyes go wide. And she says, Ellori!
Ellori 31:09
Hi mum!
Anthony 31:11
She wraps herself around you in a hug.
Ellori 31:13
Yeah, sam. Ellori cries a little bit.
Anthony 31:16
Oh, yeah. So does Faille.
Ellori 31:21
You’ll never believe what’s happened. This is my friend Deeran. Is dad here too?
Anthony 31:26
Oh, he’s not in right now. He’s out- well, he’s, he’s been doing some odd jobs for us to support us before we can head back to the village.
Ellori 31:34
Oh, that’s so exciting. Well, hopefully he will, you know, be back soon. Maybe we can go downstairs, get some snacks. I’m sure Deeran’s, you know, hungry.
Anthony 31:45
You haven’t been back to the village have you, dear?
Ellori 31:48
Yes, we did. We were there-
Anthony 31:49
Oh, no.
Ellori 31:51
-and we saw grandma, and we killed the demon.
Anthony 31:55
I’m sorry. What?
Ellori 31:57
Yeah, no, it’s a really long story. Um, also, you might want to patch some things up with Maya and Brad when you get back because they’re going to be so- I told them she’s a bad cook.
Anthony 32:07
Ellori Realtanam, you’re supposed to be out getting a story, not killing demons and fighting things! What are you thinking?!
Ellori 32:13
Well, I’m thinking that makes a pretty good story, mum.
Anthony 32:16
Yeah, but you’re gonna get hurt out there. You can’t be-
Ellori 32:19
Oh, I almost died so many times.
Anthony 32:20
Don’t tell me that.
Deeran 32:22
Yeah, you’re not supposed to say that, Ellori.
Ellori 32:23
Oh, no, but it’s true. I wouldn’t- I can’t lie to my mum.
Anthony 32:27
No, I don’t want you to lie. I also don’t want you to get killed.
Deeran 32:29
She’s been safe the whole time. I mean, mostly safe.
Ellori 32:32
Yeah, no, I’ve got some really great friends that I’ve met. Um, there’s, you know, there’s Belroth and he’s really good at you know, knowing a lot of things about, about animals and creatures and, you know-
Anthony 32:43
Is this one of your friends out there letting you get killed?
Ellori 32:46
No, no, but no, but Skarpin’s, so good at dreams. And then and then Deeran here, Deeran’s super good at like, thinking about all the things and connections and then and then he, he’s the reason that I didn’t die this last time.
Deeran 32:59
Yeah, like, we’re doing our best, you know? It’s, it’s spicy out there, though.
Anthony 33:05
I think that’s it, Ellori. I think you got to come back to the village. No more. You’ve got enough of a story now. It’s time.
Ellori 33:12
No, no, Mum, we have so much we’ve got 7 more demons to kill.
Anthony 33:16
No, no, no, you can’t, you can’t be doing that. Leave that to other people to do. You come home and tend to the sheep.
Ellori 33:25
No, Mum, I met the Heart of Creation, and he told me I was special.
Anthony 33:31
Okay, all right. Yeah. I see what’s happening here. Ellori-
Deeran 33:35
And we’re contractually obligated. Hold on.
Anthony 33:39
She takes your hand. She says, Ellori, you’re supposed to be finding a story, not making up a story. It’s not about going out there and just coming up with the most outlandish tale you can and coming back to the village. You got to go out there and find a real story, something personal.
Ellori 33:57
Mum, look at this note from grandma. She sent it to me. You know how she feels about the Stouthearts, and she sent this letter to prove that we killed the demon to them. She believes me. It’s all true.
Anthony 34:13
Okay, let’s go downstairs and get something to eat-
Ellori 34:16
We rode here on a dragon, mum!
Anthony 34:22
Ellori, that’s enough! Dragons, my goodness. Come on, come on. And she just like, walks down the stairs in front of you. Cornelius buys you your fourth round, Skarpin as he’s just like, just getting every- as much of the story as he can from you. Is there anything you aren’t telling Cornelius?
Skarpin 34:59
No, Skarpin is gonna tell him every, every detail. Yeah, every detail.
Deeran 35:07
Even the stuff we’re not supposed to say?
Skarpin 35:09
What are we not supposed to say?
Belroth 35:12
The standing stones?
Deeran 35:14
Yeah, the thing that Deeran fucked up.
Skarpin 35:17
Is that a thing somebody said we weren’t supposed to say?
Belroth 35:19
Yes!
Deeran 35:20
Yeah.
Skarpin 35:21
Wesley?
Deeran 35:22
Yeah.
Belroth 35:23
Yeah.
Deeran 35:24
Oh, well he said- well, that’s too bad. Now Cornelius knows.
Oh wait, what about the going back in time?
Skarpin 35:37
That was fine. Archimedes didn’t say anything about that.
Belroth 35:40
That’s true, I guess. Yeah.
Ellori 35:42
Oh, my God.
Belroth 35:44
That one I’ll give you, but there was a very clear Standing Stone don’t tell people about this.
Skarpin 35:52
That’s fair. He tells him that later.
Anthony 35:55
Cornelius has been taking- at first he was taking mental notes. Now he’s just full on writing it all out. He’s like, this is, this story is unbelievable. There’s so much. Truly, if I had not seen the things I had seen in this world, I would simply not believe a word of what you had said. And I’m honestly finding it difficult as it is.
Skarpin 36:16
And then I was unconscious for this part, but they stared directly into the Pit of demons. And I, I got chills even though I was unconscious.
Anthony 36:27
Well, wait, you got chills then? Unconscious- like, you had unconscious chills?
Skarpin 36:32
Yeah. It’s a Pit of demons. It’s, it’s the end-all. It’s the- where they come from and where we have to go. We’re gonna go there, Cornelius.
Anthony 36:45
Like, like now?
Skarpin 36:49
No, we’re not right ready.
Anthony 36:50
Oh, from what you’ve told me that seems like it would have been a terrible decision. Terrible.
Skarpin 36:57
Yeah, we barely survived Old Scratch and that was in my territory.
Anthony 37:01
Yes, let Old Scratch- you sent him away, great. If you have to go there and deal with him in the future so be it, but maybe you’ll have the opportunity to bring some more help with you into the Pit so that you don’t have to go there alone.
Skarpin 37:18
Yeah, as much support as we can. I mean that shopkeep Old Tess over there. They were no help. I was trying to get suited up and outfitted with some fancy magic items.
Anthony 37:28
Well, the truth is for Tess if you go on Wednesdays, it is the quietest day of business for her. She will give you a 3% discount.
Skarpin 37:36
Oh, well that’s something. Thanks for that tip, Cornelius, but can you, can you believe it? Have you seen- I told you a lot here, but are there other happenings in the world that I didn’t even mention that you’ve seen?
Anthony 37:54
Oh, yes, yes. The barrier is a big one in this area, especially that they have been dealing with it. It is said that there were ships visible on the horizon, a fleet of them making their way from the Demon Isles. When the demon stone shattered, it caused such a commotion that the whole islands were evacuating. And when the, the ships were inches from passing through the barrier, they said they saw at least 3 of them cleaved in half by the barrier, sunk away into the ocean. And the others trapped inside.
Skarpin 38:36
Oh, no. Prudence said that there were no, no refugees.
Anthony 38:44
There has also been a great attack in the North, in the empire, an attack upon the ancient keep of Morevia. It is said that, that that building now is the domain of vampires who have taken hold and the nights there are not safe.
Skarpin 39:05
Yeah, thanks. Thanks for that one too.
Anthony 39:08
It is possible that the, this Nosferat that you have mentioned, this, this demon. I believe it is probably connected.
Skarpin 39:26
Could be. Like, Skarpin’s not impressed with this great traveler, adventurer storyteller.
Anthony 39:34
And of course there is the recent capture of the Price of the Triton. He has been taken into custody by the Empire.
Skarpin 39:43
That’s a new, that’s a new one. I didn’t know about that one.
Anthony 39:47
Yes, yes, the prince of the Triton has been captured for- although, there is some rumor that he has defected from his father. It could spell an end to the war soon.
Skarpin 40:04
That’d be great. We don’t want to be divided on 2 fronts. We could use the Emperor’s help.
Anthony 40:10
Yes, and of course, there are also the rumors about how this whole Triton War began in the first place. They say the secret to that lies at the bottom of the ocean of the Eastern Sea, near the Tower of Vorai, if I’m not mistaken. The Tritons say that there was a sacred place disrupted by Silverblade and his crew.
Skarpin 40:36
Huh, I’ll have to ask Silverblade about that. I bet, I bet he knows something.
Anthony 40:40
That you’d be doing at your own risk. It is said that Silverblade-
Skarpin 40:44
We go way back.
Anthony 40:46
Okay. I mean, you mentioned him in your story, obviously. But it is said that Silverblade does not take kindly to those who pry into his business.
Skarpin 40:57
Well, you know, we’re on good terms, but that’s it. Thanks for the warning, Cornelius. I’ll have just one more round just one more.
Anthony 41:06
And of course, his brother is an expert duelist. One would not want to find themselves on either side- to anger either side of the Silverblade family.
Skarpin 41:16
No, that’s fair. That’s fair. Yeah, we met, we met him too- well, briefly.
Anthony 41:23
They say his blade is so fast he can draw it in slay someone without you ever seeing it drawn. That the blade itself, it’s like it strikes invisibly. They call it the Unseen Blade.
Skarpin 41:37
That sounds like, made up.
Anthony 41:41
No, certainly, I would believe that as well. If I had not seen the effects of it myself.
Skarpin 41:47
Hmm. Interesting. Oh, maybe we’ll ask him about that too. But oh, a lot going on, Cornelius. Do you think you have enough information to write some, some ballads and spread the word?
Anthony 42:00
Ah, yes, I will tell the tale of TESS-Ah and all of your exploits in fighting the, the Whisper of Lies. I think that an interesting title that should, should really get people excited and interested in this tip.
Skarpin 42:17
Yeah, and hopefully, you know, take it seriously because some people aren’t.
Anthony 42:24
Of course, of course. Of course. Yes, yes. I’m very concerned about the veracity of the story as well, and so I will embellish as little as possible. I would hate to change things too drastically, but there are some parts I’m gonna have to punch up a little bit. I find them, you know, the story is you’ve related, you know, it needs a little extra in a couple of places.
Skarpin 42:43
Okay, I trust you implicitly.
Anthony 42:46
I’m thinking that perhaps I will just replace most of the characters you’ve mentioned, maybe with some other more famous adventurers that have a history with my listeners that that might, you know, resonate better as I tell them in taverns.
Skarpin 43:07
Okay, well yes, as long as the, the demon information is out there, I guess that’s the most important part.
Anthony 43:14
Yes, yes, I can tell how Rothgar Swordbeaker the Brave drew forth his sword and threw it as hard as he could at the demon as it disappeared through a portal into the Pit as a warning to all demons that might see his blade as it pierced its way into the ground shining brightly and pushing back all demons for 100 miles within the Pit, cracking the glass itself. You know, things like that.
Deeran 43:45
Yeah, so then Belroth’s arrow launched right behind the demon as a warning. And oh my gosh. Mrs. Realtanam. It was amazing. It was like, the coolest thing.
Anthony 43:57
Oh, yes, yes, that’s, that’s so, so wonderful, Deeran. Ellori, I really think maybe at the very least, some other companions might be in order here to, to really, to really help keep you focused. It sounds like maybe there’s a lot of, you know, some scattered thoughts happening with this particular group.
Ellori 44:19
No, mum. There’s no group of people, not even famous adventurers that could, you know, take the place of Deeran and Belroth and Skarpin and, and Freya. And because we work so well together, I think that’s part of the reason that we’re all still alive because, you know, I’m not, you know, I’m not really I’m not good at you know, you know, Deeran can throw a fireball and, and, you know, someone can just explode right there and I can’t do that.
Anthony 44:46
Right, that’s what I’m saying.
Deeran 44:48
Yeah, but I’d rather have Ellori by my side, than Grognar, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I feel so supported and like, protected with her around.
Anthony 44:58
And I’m saying she can support and protect you from here, right? Just, just with her thoughts and her feelings.
Ellori 45:04
No, my spells don’t reach that far, mom.
Anthony 45:06
Well, well, okay, but I mean, you know, it is that you are, you know, have only so much use in a situation like that.
Ellori 45:17
No, I know, but I’m getting better. You want to see something that I can do that’s really cool.
Anthony 45:23
I don’t, I mean, I-
Ellori 45:24
Think of anything you want in the world, anything you want.
Anthony 45:28
I want you to stay home.
Ellori 45:30
Okay, think of anything that’s like, medium size and worth less than 600 gold pieces.
Anthony 45:39
Um, let’s say, some teeth.
Ellori 45:43
You want some teeth? I’m good at that one! Okay, ~I’ve got a prickin’ on the tip of my fingers. I’ve got an image in the back of my brain. Where there was nothing, let there be something. Show me new teeth.~
Belroth 46:01
A 5×5 cube of teeth.
Deeran 46:07
Just like, splay out on the table. Way less than last time.
Anthony 46:11
Oh, way less, yeah. Yeah, we need to be very clear, far fewer teeth. But still teeth.
Deeran 46:17
Still too many teeth.
Anthony 46:19
Oh, this is- well, first of all, I’m, I’m pretty sure there are companies with trademarks against just making piles of magical teeth, but even beyond that, this is an interesting- do you use these?
Deeran 46:37
So, I feel like Belroth here, but actually these are mundane teeth created by magical means. So, it’s like, you know, it’s a little different.
Anthony 46:46
Well, I, you know, I’m no member of The Guild, but, you know, I can see where the differentiation comes in there, but I don’t know how that’s classified legally.
Ellori 46:57
I mean, it’s, you know, it’s, it’s magic. So I think it’s extra legal.
Anthony 47:02
Well, I don’t know if it’s extra legal or not legal at all. I don’t know which.
Ellori 47:08
I just- I’ve got a lot of really cool things I can do, mum. And, and I know that you’re probably worried about me, but-
Anthony 47:16
I am. I’m just worried. We both are. Your father is too, and we just, we just want you to be safe. And I’ve been, I’ve been just wringing my hands since you left and your grandmother keeps telling me, you know, you can’t walk a path that you haven’t laid some thorns or something. I don’t remember what she said exactly, but I just know that I’m very, I just want you to come home, dear. I just miss you.
Ellori 47:41
No, I know. I miss you too. I miss you and dad so much, but mum, mum, there’s some really bad stuff happening in the world and, and we can fix it.
Anthony 47:53
The door opens and your father, Caghan comes in through the door. He’s carrying 2 large buckets of like, looks like grain. And he’s like, All right, home for the day. And your mother says, look who’s here. And he looks down, and he says, hi Ellori. And he just walks past up toward the stairs. He’ll be down in a minute. It, it just didn’t click with him, I’m sure. It’s been a long day at work.
Ellori 48:26
Yeah.
Deeran 48:29
I know it’s super rude and weird. You don’t need to like, work if you don’t want to. Like, I’m sure you know, like we can, we can toss you a couple of gold or whatever to like, put you up here for as long as you need.
Ellori 48:46
Well, Deeran I was just thinking that, but also they can go home now.
Anthony 48:49
And really Caghan just needs something to do. He can’t sit around for days doing nothing.
Ellori 48:55
You don’t even understand. There was, there was a week when I was little that, you know, he broke his foot. And, you know, he couldn’t do his dancing. And when he couldn’t dance, he couldn’t, you know, that was the, the main thing that he was supposed to do. So, so there was no way for him to do it, and he just had to sit around to the house and in order to heal. You know, he had to be really restful and he couldn’t- he wasn’t allowed to do anything. And oh, my gosh, he was the grumpiest I’ve ever seen him.
Anthony 49:24
And he’d get so, he’d get so worked up. He’d sleep like, 7 hours a night, and it just wasn’t enough.
Ellori 49:29
No. No, it’s like, it’s like he was a walking zombie, you know, to add to the vampyr, he was a zombie too.
Anthony 49:36
Yeah, but not literally.
Ellori 49:39
That is a metaphorical zombie.
Deeran 49:41
Sure, yeah.
Anthony 49:42
So, he’s been doing some work here just to keep his strength up and keep his mind busy before he can get home and back to dancing. And we figured it was probably best not to do any dents in here because it’d be too like- people might recognize him, and we’re trying to be hiding.
Ellori 49:55
Yeah, he’s so famous.
Anthony 49:59
He comes back downstairs. He’s like, Ellori!
Ellori 50:02
Dad!
Anthony 50:03
And he runs over and hugs you.
Ellori 50:06
Dad, this is Deeran. I’ve just been telling mum all the things that we’ve been up to.
Anthony 50:10
No, I bet it’s been fantastic.
Ellori 50:12
It has been. How are you?
Anthony 50:13
I bet you’ve been getting the best stories out there.
Ellori 50:16
I am.
Anthony 50:17
Oh, you- How am I? Oh, you know how I am. I’m just lifting grain. I been lifting grain all day.
Deeran 50:26
That’s my job.
Anthony 50:29
Grain lifter.
Ellori 50:29
We have some good news though. You and mom can go home.
Anthony 50:33
Oh!
Ellori 50:34
We’ve- we fixed the problem in Naiah
Anthony 50:36
Well, good. That’s good. You know, I’ve been thinking maybe we wouldn’t.
Ellori 50:43
Go home?
Anthony 50:44
Yeah. It’s, it’s just the neighbors. I’m really not a fan of the neighbors, and I’m really hoping that-
Ellori 50:52
Oh, you might have to move when you go home anyway. I was, I was pretty cruel. It’s not my proudest moment, but I did, I did tell Maya she was bad at cooking.
Anthony 51:02
Hmm, that’s fair.
Deeran 51:03
Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
Ellori 51:06
She was not happy.
Anthony 51:07
Your mother is aghast. I know you’ve already told me that once, but every time you bring it up, it just hits a little harder and I…~sigh~
Deeran 51:18
Yeah, it was a pretty big deal. She sounded really mad on the other end of the door.
Anthony 51:25
I don’t know what we’re gonna do. Well, maybe we will stay. I don’t know.
Deeran 51:32
Well, I guess we’re up and moving rather than dealing with this conflict.
Ellori 51:38
Anthony, what would like, a house cost? What would like, a nice little house cost?
Anthony 51:45
A nice little house? I would say probably 100 gold.
Ellori 51:49
Okay. Um-
Anthony 51:51
Well, man economies are so fucked up in D&D. We’ll say 50 gold. That’s feels like an appropriate amount for-
Deeran 52:01
So, less than a horse.
Anthony 52:04
100 gold. We’ll go back to 100 gold.
Deeran 52:08
You set the bar for horses at 75.
Anthony 52:11
So, 150 gold is where we’re going to go. It’s a sliding scale. The housing market is volatile as hell right now.
Belroth 52:19
And I mean, you’re in a city so it’s gotta like, go up a little, right?
Anthony 52:22
250 gold.
Belroth 52:25
You’re paying for convenience.
5 horses.
Anthony 52:28
It’s what I’ve said the whole time.
Ellori 52:31
Well, if, if you wanted to stay here, um, you know, I could buy your house.
Anthony 52:37
Oh, no, dear. You don’t need to do that. We, we settle just fine.
Ellori 52:43
I know. I just, I was thinking maybe since I’ve got my, you know, big success girl pants on then maybe, um, you know that I, you know, can contribute in a way.
Anthony 52:54
Well, if I can start dancing again then I think we could get a house here in no time.
Ellori 52:58
Oh, yeah, you would, you would get house- someone would just give you a house for the dancing you do.
Anthony 53:03
Well, I don’t know about that, but that’s very kind of you. But I don’t think I’ve ever danced well enough to get a house.
Ellori 53:08
Oh, that’s where we disagree, dad.
Anthony 53:11
I mean, I, I feel like I’ve danced well enough to deserve a house, but I don’t know if I’ve danced well enough to earn a house.
Ellori 53:18
Oh, I see. Yeah, that’s a proper distinction.
Anthony 53:22
I’ll give it a try. I think we’ll be okay, Ellori. You keep what you have for yourself. That’s a lot of gold, and I wouldn’t want to put you out for anything like that. That would be an enormous amount of money. It’s like, 275 gold for a house in the city.
Deeran 53:40
So, like, what my parents used to do for me to like, make me feel like I had earned it was they used to put a bill on the icebox and so like, every time I got money from like, you know, like my allowance or like, doing a job or whatever like, I could pay back that bill off the icebox and like, they would, they would reduce my payment based on the, you know, that bill there was like, a way to show responsibility like, if, if the like, upfront cost is something that you could help you out with, you know, maybe you could do it that way.
Anthony 54:14
Oh, dear, that’s the saddest thing I ever heard. Uh, well, I’ll tell you what-
Deeran 54:19
Why? Wait, why? I learned a lot about the value of buying stuff.
Anthony 54:27
Okay. Uh, we’ll be okay, dear. Don’t worry about us. We’ll either head back home or maybe we’ll just sell the home and use the money to buy something here. We got lots of options.
Ellori 54:42
Okay. I know gran would like to see you though, you know, if you’re, if you are heading back.
Anthony 54:47
Oh yeah, well, we’ll at least go back and visit her.
Ellori 54:50
Okay. We’ll come back to visit too.
Anthony 54:55
Yeah, you can come back and stay.
Ellori 54:56
Grandma promised pizza.
Anthony 54:57
No, just you can come back and stay and everyone else can come visit and then they can leave. And you can turn to the sheep.
Ellori 55:04
Honestly, the amount that this is like, the number of times my actual parents have been like, you can just move here. You can just move here. You can just come live near us, you know, you could just live here.
Anthony 55:17
Wud up, Katie?!
Deeran 55:19
Honest, honestly, like-
Ellori 55:20
She doesn’t listen anymore. It got too confusing for her.
Anthony 55:27
Fair enough.
Ellori 55:29
But she’ll like the shit out of anything we post on Facebook.
Deeran 55:34
Listeners, you should too.
Ellori 55:36
Yeah. Um, but yeah, Ellori is gonna, like, just kind of do a lot of like, nodding.
Anthony 55:47
Caghan, like, she’s not coming back to live with us. She’s finding her story. She’s out there getting her tale, and it sounds like it’s gonna be a big one.
Ellori 55:57
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Anthony 55:58
I haven’t heard any of it, but it sounds like it’s gonna be a big one. And honestly, I don’t want to hear any of that now. I want to wait till you get the whole thing, all together, and give it to me all at once.
Ellori 56:10
Okay.
Anthony 56:12
I’m excited, though.
Ellori 56:14
Cool.
Anthony 56:15
She’s like, she’s almost died! Several times!
He’s like, spoilers!
Ellori 56:20
Mum, don’t give it away!
Anthony 56:20
Don’t tell me anything! I don’t want to hear a single bit!
Hey, everyone. DM Anthony here just reminding you that if you’re enjoying the show, tell your friends, tell your family, let people know word of mouth. And you can support the show at patreon.com/adventureinc, or you can check out the shop at adventureincpod.com/shop. Make sure you check the show notes on the website for all our social media including our Discord where you can come and hang out with some great people. We’ll see you there, and until next week, I wish you nothing but Critical Success.
Adventure Incorporated 57:21
Serious Business.
We’re super serious!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai