Anthony 0:01
Greetings, adventurers, and welcome to the Adventure Incorporated Podcast. I am your Dungeon Master. My name is Anthony Reed. This is the first episode of the new campaign of Adventure Incorporated. You are on the ground floor. And if this is your first time adventuring with us, a heartfelt welcome. And if it’s not your first time, a heartfelt welcome back, because I am just buzzing with excitement. But getting started on this new journey that we are all going to be taking together. I want to make sure we do a big shout out thank you to our patrons at patreon.com/adventureinc. We have done some really fun stuff this last month to get prepared, both with the finale and now to get prepared for this moment right here. And it’s all thanks to our patrons at patreon.com/adventurinc who have done amazing things. If you have not been looking at our social media, you haven’t seen the artwork that’s all come out for these characters leading up to this point, you’ve got to go and check it out, especially as you start to hear this story unfold. And it’s thanks to them. Without the patrons, we wouldn’t be able to do the cool stuff we’ve been able to do. And so if you get value out of the show, you can give a little value back at patreon.com/adventurinc. I also want to point out our Discord. If you’re new to the group, and you want to come and join our community and chat with the cast, and the other fans who are amazing, it’s so great that we have such a wonderful community sprung up around the show. You can do so by coming over to our Discord. There’s a link in the show notes or you can go to adventuring pod comm and catch the link there. Hey, I’m so excited to share everything we’ve done so far with you and to embark on this journey with you and to I cannot wait to see where this goes. And I’m just so thrilled. I’m so thrilled to be here with you now, so you know what? Let’s get started.
Nobles and farmers knights and scoundrels gather round gather round to hear a tale of excitement and mystery. Brave adventurers facing grave dangers. Belroth, the Ranger.
Belroth 2:29
She’s a Grimalkin. That’s, but that’s understood no pets allowed, even though she’s not a pet. I will wait outside everyone if anyone needs anything. I am outside.
Anthony 2:38
Skarpin, the Cleric
Belroth 2:41
Should I just try and snipe them from over here?
Skarpin 2:43
Yeah, okay. I did say they were as good as dead I would hate for my you know, to break my word on our first contract is Adventure Incorporated.
Anthony 2:52
Ellori, the Bard.
Ellori 2:55
We would want you to leave this warehouse?
Anthony 2:58
He points behind you, Church!
Ellori 3:00
Oh, sorry. We want you to leave this church
Anthony 3:05
Deeran, the wizard. He say you no, worship Shattered Fang.
Deeran 3:10
Yeah, man. He’s like super wrong. We love Broken Tooth, uh Shattered Fang man.
Anthony 3:15
Prepare yourselves for these are the tales of Adventure Incorporated.
We will open in the town of Redbridge, a small town in the region of Mughumar, just on the edges of Ashland. And Redbridge is a small town it’s got a couple of small shops. It’s got a farming area around the town. At its center is a statue of a great hero of old. One who is associated with the premier adventuring company in the in the New Merittan, an empire a Constance Redbridge, the statue of a large woman, hard to say anything else about it because it’s a statue you know, it’s very worn. It’s been erected for almost 300 years. The four of you make your way back to Redbridge. This is sort of your base of operations for some of the adventures you’ve been running. For a while now you’ve been doing. You’ve been going through a broker here in town, gnome by the name of Cyrus Mabkest Lederhosen Stone Holder Hoburn. And Holborn has been giving you jobs with the Commission Legion, guard jobs, escort jobs, smaller tasks that need doing, but you’ve made a choice to take a step further. And so you’ve gone and become guild members of the Adventure Incorporated guild and are now able to take the much more lucrative much more dangerous, adventuring contracts that you know the Commission Legion work is nice, but this is where the real gold gets made. And you now bring yourselves back to the town having just acquired your credentials. Before we I don’t know if you want to go and speak to Holborn if you want to take some time to explore the town. The town is not massive. It’s not like a big city. But they do have some things because Holborn is a broker for the Commission Legion for Adventure Incorporated. There are some things that are important to know about for you as adventurers. There is a shop in town that sells items of import to adventurers that might be valuable magical items, or, you know, regular gear as well. There is also a library a library in town that can be researched at and it can be researched and has resources available to to you folks as well.
Deeran 6:10
Hey, guys, I know like we always go and I like I just really want to go look at the shop again, man. Like I just love being in there and dreaming about what one day I’ll be able to afford. Do you mind? Like just real quick if we stopped by?
Skarpin 6:26
Oh, no, I agree. I do love shopping for things. It’s very fun.
Belroth 6:31
Yeah, I’m sure we can absolutely go there. I mean, we’re not wasting we don’t have anywhere to be, I guess.
Deeran 6:40
I just like to like look around you know, and like touch stuff even though I can’t like
Belroth 6:43
You should not touch them. We would we will get kicked out.
Deeran 6:49
They say that but like, it hasn’t happened yet, man.
Belroth 6:53
True.
Ellori 6:54
My grandma always says hands in pockets when you’re in the stores. Otherwise you’ll break something.
Skarpin 7:00
So wise that woman
Anthony 7:05
Deeran as you step through the doors into the magic shop, can you describe what Deeran looks like as he is coming in off the road?
Deeran 7:16
Yeah, so Deeran is going to throw his hood back off of his like head exposing the like, medium length greasy hair of his. The the chain around his neck floats in arcane power just off of his chest. And it’s about the same size as his protruding Adam’s apple, which, you know, like you ever see somebody who’s like just a little too skinny and you’re like, Hey, man. I can watch you talk. You know what I mean? That’s kind of that’s kind of the the image I want everybody to have of this long, lanky dude as he like, kind of almost, like almost shaggy from Scooby Doo walks into places like his arms just kind of like happen to move at the same gait as his legs. Not super coordinated. And you but he does. He does notice immediately a new sign on the on the like on the shelf that says no touching. And he looks at the shopkeep and he says, This one’s new man.
Anthony 8:31
The shopkeep, a tiefling with red skin marbled with thin black lines. He has a pair of horns that sweep back off of his head. He looks at you with a flat stare. His red eyes just trained right on you. And he says Yep.
Deeran 8:55
It’s official policy now.
Anthony 9:00
Yep.
Deeran 9:04
Cool. Deeran starts like looking around.
Anthony 9:09
Deeran is a human correct?
Deeran 9:11
Yes, sorry. Yes, he is a human man.
Anthony 9:15
Okay? So Ellori when you enter, describe Ellori for us as well.
Ellori 9:25
Um, so Ellori is a, she is an elf. She’s got like forest green, tealish hair that comes down all wavy around her with bits of flower or forest or something in them. She’s not sure. She’s got big rose tinted sunglasses, that she’s gonna push up over her over her head when she walks into the store that typically hide her bright purple eyes. She’s gonna smile. Big showing her sweet little vampire fangs and she is going to kind of holster the umbrella that she always carries to give her some sunny shade into kind of like a holster holster on her back.
Anthony 10:17
You are familiar with the owner of this place you’ve had some discussions with him in the past. This is Elgromon Artistry. He is the owner and he does a lot of the work in here himself mostly repairs on magic items. He largely works with spellstone to empower and or re-empower and repair magic items. But he also can do some forging of his own Elgroman brightens up when he sees you. He says oh Ellori
Ellori 10:55
Hey Elgromon. Is that a new knife in the window?
Anthony 10:58
It is it is probably a little out of your price range, I’m afraid
Ellori 11:03
Oh, it’s super out of my price range. But you mind if I look at it a little closer?
Anthony 11:10
Yes, you may look I do feel inclined to point out in a matter of fairness, of course, that there is a new policy against touching. But you know, you’re welcome to
Ellori 11:20
You know, my hands are in always in my pockets in your store.
Anthony 11:24
Well, excellent. Skarpin, as you make your way through the door, why don’t you tell us what you look like?
Skarpin 11:31
So immediately he pokes his head in and says, Elgromon, did that flying broom sell already?
Anthony 11:40
Oh, I can’t keep them on the shelf. They just fly out as soon as I’ve get them
Skarpin 11:45
I was open to save up for enough, but I’ll get one one day. So Skarpin is a half corpsen tortle. He is at the spry young age of 70 where he has just come of age and left the clan to venture out on his own. Let’s see what else he has a big old shield that his great grandmother shield. I’m sorry great grandmother’s shell. Well if you think about it, it’s similar if not the same. On his great grandmother shell shield is the holy symbol of Oliander big ol snowflake and he around his neck is a big ol tropical flower which he which is his pride and joy. Yeah, it constantly dies and then he has to find a new one but then that new one is his pride and joy. He loves it. So he’s not super comfortable in shops. As you can imagine his big old shell gets in the way sometimes and he’s gotten in trouble with the shopkeeper in the past but he’s excited because he’s so super pumped to be a part of Adventure Incorporated.
Anthony 13:06
Skarpin I have something for you. You’re looking at a little withered. He pulls out a fresh bulb he said this is from my home and the Demon Isle and you know it’s a nice, they call it demon Lily it’s a little Red, a little angry maybe compared to some of the other flowers I’ve seen you with but you know I thought you might like it.
Skarpin 13:29
Oh wow it’s beautiful. Oh yes, yes, it’ll go right here Perfect, perfect. He puts it attaches it to his staff and looks up at it with just such pride and just smiling which is terrifying because he’s a half corpsen tortle.
Belroth 13:44
I believe the scientific name is actually lilium cluflorium. But that’s, demon lily will be fine. Can Can Freya come in? I’m sorry. I always ask every time
Anthony 13:55
And no Belroth you may not allow that creature in the door.
Belroth 13:59
She’s a Grimalkin. That’s but that’s understood. No pets allowed. Even though she’s not a pet. I will wait outside. Everyone if anyone needs anything. I am outside. I’m outside.
Anthony 14:12
Tell me what Belroth looks like as he heads out the door.
Belroth 14:15
Belroth, Belroth is a fucking is a a purple tiefling with a slick white hair slicked all the way back a thin not thin but like not a long beard but a full thin beard, glasses, and bright yellow eyes. He has on his side, a big satchel that contains a book and bows and arrow, a bow and arrows on his back at his side.
Anthony 14:45
Several bows
Belroth 14:46
Several bows, whatever
Skarpin 14:49
This is how you do it.
Belroth 14:52
I just flicked them at people. And his his companion at his side is named Freya. She is a long, big black cat like beast with bat like ears, vestigial wings at its claws and a big long, flowing tail that often bumps into things which is why Freya is not allowed in the store.
Anthony 15:23
That is why Freya is not allowed in the store
Belroth 15:24
Because Freya was previously allowed in the store and no longer
Anthony 15:30
No longer allowed in the store
Ellori 15:32
Freya and Deeran
Deeran 15:35
I’m allowed in the store, I just can’t touch anything.
Ellori 15:38
No I know, I’m just saying it really helps if you just if you just put your hands in your pockets, and then that’s like, because you know how you just need to touch everything. Like when I see something that I want, I just want to touch it. And so so what if you put your hands in your pockets? You don’t touch it? You’re just touching your pockets.
Deeran 15:58
I can’t, if I put my hands in my pockets where am I gonna put this and he pulls out the book attached to the wallet chain hanging from his hip. I guess I could just like let it dangle around but like I then I feel like I’m running into a Freya situation man
Skarpin 16:16
Deeran Deeran you put on these gloves. These probably have some magical abilities to protect you from touching other things
Anthony 16:23
No touching!
Skarpin 16:25
Sorry sorry sorry.
Belroth 16:28
Outside Beroth is trying very hard to train Freya. He has little like a Freya snacks little Scooby Snacks but for Freya out there just little pieces of meat that he’s trying to get her to like sit and like jump and do things and she’s not having any of it.
Okay. Sit.
Deeran 16:48
Are we the Scooby gang?
Skarpin 16:55
I’m not mad about it.
Deeran 16:57
I guess the question. Well, I mean, you’re obviously Fred.
Belroth 17:01
Oh, that’s great. Let’s split up gang.
Deeran 17:06
But that means the question is, is Ellori Daphne are available?
Ellori 17:14
Um, listen and find out.
Deeran 17:17
Becuase Skarpin’s the other one.
Belroth 17:21
And Skarpin is the Skarpin is the Mystery Mobil. Let’s be let’s be honest.
Anthony 17:29
Okay. Did you actually want to look at a list of items here?
Skarpin 17:33
Yes, please. This is season two baby want
Deeran 17:38
I want to know what’s in the store. Okay, so that I can like, Oh, God,
Anthony 17:43
I have shared a link with you. So here’s how things are, I guess this is a great opportunity for some logistics,
Deeran 17:51
Episode one episode, Logistics
Anthony 17:54
I hope you love logistics listeners, this is gonna be great. So things are a little different for season two of Adventure Incorporated. for camping two, I have put together a list of items that will be generated every time you come back to Redbridge and go to the store, or any store if we go somewhere else. The items have various prices associated with them, they are randomly generated from a list, I don’t have any control over what weapons and items appear in the shop, or scrolls. Nor do I have any real control over their price all of this is algorithmically generated. Along with that items have charges. So anytime you get a magic item, it will have a number of charges associated with it that are its maximum number of charges, and they all come fully charged. As you use them on an adventure, they will be reduced their charges will be reduced to some items, it’ll be every time you use it. Sometimes it’ll be you know, for the number of days or you know, it depends on the item. But the items all have charges. And in order to recharge those charges, you will need to spend spellstones. Spellstones are magical items found in the world. And they can also be purchased that are used to empower magic items. And we can get more into spell stones. You can find people who know more about spell stones, all you really know about them is that their mined, they exist, and that they are useful. You would use a number of spell stones it’s every item is different. So when you purchase an item from the shop, you’re going to have to keep some information about it so that you know if it’s usable at any given time. And we are going to stick to the rules of the game, surprise.
Deeran 19:45
Oh, I’m out
Anthony 19:47
That you can only be attuned to three of these items at a given time. So when we go on a mission, you will make choices about which things you bring with you and which things you don’t based off of the number of charges you have available, the number of spellsstones you have available and the number of slots you have available. And so I’m hoping that before we go on a mission, you can say, Yep, I brought this, this and this. And that will set us up to be a little more cognizant of what we have with us. And, you know, make them more useful in the long run, you can make good choices, and then sometimes be very sad about a bad choice. Great. So I do have a list here. There’s a bunch of items. I think, you know, some of these actually, this is a pretty low is a perfect starting point. Because that’s mostly common and uncommon items. We didn’t pop any rares or legendaries on here for hundreds of 1000s of gold. And some of this stuff might actually be affordable.
Ellori 20:48
Oh my god, I was looking at this like, Oh, this shop is price.
Anthony 20:54
They are still magic items, they’re going to be expensive. In addition to anything you see on the list, you can buy any mundane item you would like for the price listed in the player’s handbook. So those things are also available at the shop. If you’re like do I really need rope? Well, okay, you can get rope
Skarpin 21:10
Not rope of climbing though
Belroth 21:12
But you can attune to it.
Anthony 21:14
That’s 460 gold. That’s actually probably pretty cheap for that because it
Skarpin 21:21
It seems like a rope that’s just called a different name. But whatever. I’m no shopkeep. Actually Skarpin kind of is, is but whatever.
Anthony 21:35
So yeah, these. Anyone have any questions about any of the items available?
Deeran 21:41
Hey, man, oh, go for it Skarpin. No you first he likes you better
Skarpin 21:46
Maybe like, maybe whisper me your question. Sir, do you have any sale items in the back?
Anthony 22:02
What you see is what I got. Look, I know this. You guys have been doing a lot of great work around here. Right? You’ve been doing a lot of gardin stuff. This might not be for you. You know what I’m saying like some of this stuff is really for adventurers who are out doing adventuring things and making a lot more
Ellori 22:22
Elgromon, guess what? We actually just got our own. We’re, we’re we’re legitimate now. We’re actual adventures.
Anthony 22:33
You are. You got your licensure through Adventure Incorporated?
Ellori 22:39
We is that different than what we have here?
Skarpin 22:41
Yes we did!
Deeran 22:43
Yeah, that’s what we got.
Anthony 22:45
That’s wonderful. Excellent. I’m very happy for you.
Ellori 22:50
Thank you.
Anthony 22:50
Yeah, that’s great. Yeah, you can start doing some real missions. Make some real gold and then buy some of this stuff.
Ellori 22:57
Yeah, a lot of this is still pretty out of my price range.
Anthony 23:01
Yeah. Yeah.
Deeran 23:05
Ah, Deeran points, but does it touch and points at the the needle and ink in the in the rack and says, hey, man, what’s this one teach? He’s like, he’s looking at the spellwrought tattoo.
Anthony 23:31
Okay, first of all, you’re a little close. to just bring the finger a little farther back, please.
Deeran 23:39
Yeah, man. Sorry. And like Deeran holds his hand against his chest and like points the finger toward toward the tattoo.
Anthony 23:50
So this is where it gets exceptionally exciting because I have no idea.
Ellori 23:55
Don’t know.
Belroth 24:00
It’s like getting a real tattoo that you don’t know anything about. You’re just like, Hey, man, can I practice tattoo on you? Sure. And then what do you know you got fart drawn on you. But boy, it is a good fart.
Skarpin 24:12
It’s a good fart
Anthony 24:15
It’s a really good fart.
Before we talk about really good farts.
Ellori 24:20
Never please.
Anthony 24:22
It looks like the spellwrought tattoo is a first. Let’s see. Oh, it contains a single spell. Okay.
Belroth 24:30
You need a roll what spell it is.
Anthony 24:32
Well, before we do that, then does anyone else see anything else on this table? They would like?
Belroth 24:39
It was that, but no.
Deeran 24:41
Deeran’s gonna spend all his money on a tattoo.
Skarpin 24:44
Ugh, Deeran’s the coolest
Belroth 24:45
I wanted it, but ugh.
Anthony 24:47
Ah, yes. This this tattoo magic is magically imbued. Basically this needle is magically imbued to give you a tattoo that will imbue you with the spell Longstrider. Now if you’re unfamiliar, you touch a creature and that target speed increases by 10 feet for a hour.
Deeran 25:11
Yeah, man um. All right, um, um. Um, I’m good I don’t really care about moving all that much faster.
Anthony 25:31
I can put like a like a nice. Like I do the tattoo. So I mean, I could do like a nice face. I could do a saying a phrase you like, and you can imbues you with the magic. You can pass that magic to someone else.
Deeran 25:49
Yeah, no, I’m good, man. All right. I just like it. You know, I want my first magic tattoo to like, mean something special to me. You know, like, I want it to be a spell that like, really matters to me. As you know, it speaks to me in like a different way. You know.
Anthony 26:09
I get these all the time. So you know, there might be one here the next time you come by maybe it’ll be totally different.
Deeran 26:17
Yeah, hopefully, man hopefully it’s something that really like connects to my soul. You know, like is like, really actually connected.
Ellori 26:26
Elgromon, how much would it cost for you to draw the face you’re talking about a like on my hand, but not in a tattoo.
Anthony 26:38
I’ll do that for you for free. Come here.
Ellori 26:44
She’s just gonna like hold her hand out it like I imagine it’s like a sharpie.
Anthony 26:48
A quill.
Belroth 26:51
He will really give you a tattoo. Just not a magical tattoo.
Anthony 26:56
It’s just like, he scratches it into your hand. And he’s like, not my best work, but it looks pretty good.
Ellori 27:01
No, Elgromon. That is beautiful. This is gonna give us the confidence. We need to go in and get our first real adventure. And we’ll be carrying you with us.
Anthony 27:11
Oh, I bet Hoburn is going to be very excited to get you doing some of those adventures.
Ellori 27:18
Hoburn is going to be so proud of us.
Skarpin 27:21
Elgromon, would you be able to do another one of those just like that one. I just want to want to.
Anthony 27:27
Yeah, of course.
Skarpin 27:29
Thank you
Anthony 27:30
Let me see your hand. I guess why why would I say no, it’d be really weird for me to do it for her and then not do it for you.
Skarpin 27:37
He holds out a slightly corpsen gross hand
Anthony 27:41
Yeah, I think that, he takes the quill. And he pokes it in and it just kind of goes in your hand a little bit. He’s like, you know what? I’ve got other things I need to be doing right now. I’m gonna I’m gonna
Skarpin 27:57
That’s okay, maybe next time.
Anthony 28:00
Maybe next time,
Ellori 28:01
Um, Ellery is gonna run to the window. And like point at her hand to Belroth.
Belroth 28:06
Oh, thumbs up, big thumbs up, rolls up his sleeve and shows his tattoo of the bleeding eye and goes thumbs up? Yeah.
Ellori 28:17
Ellery gives like an, ughhhh kind of face, but still thumbs up
Belroth 28:22
He’s like banging on the window but you can’t really hear it so just like CanIgetthataswell? He wants one he wants one as well. But he can’t go in.
Ellori 28:35
Ellori opens the door. Belrot, do you want me to stay with Freya so that you can look around the store?
Belroth 28:41
Okay, girl, be good
Ellori 28:45
Bye Elgromon.
Anthony 28:45
Bye.
Belroth 28:46
Be good. Do not do not let do not let Freya boss you around because she will Ellori okay and Freya don’t boss Ellori around becuase I know you will. And Belroth goes inside.
Skarpin 28:58
How much taill twitching is happening right now.
Anthony 29:03
Belroth or Freya?
Ellori 29:10
Ellori is just gonna like sit on the ground outside with Freya and just start feeding her snacks. Like they’re just gonna eat snacks.
Belroth 29:17
Freya sniffs them and then like because like cats kind of have like bad near sight she like doesn’t know where it is and then just like has to pick it put it on the ground somewhere and then eats it every single time.
Skarpin 29:31
Oh, is that true?
Belroth 29:33
I assume. I don’t know. Or my cats are frickin weird. Belroth runs inside and looks at the tattoo immediately. Or the ink
Deeran 29:46
Careful man, it’s poison at Deeran leaves.
Anthony 29:50
It’s not it’s not poison, it’s not poison. If you wish to get that tattoo it would imbue you with the spell Longstrider.
Belroth 29:58
Now as a fellow tiefling I have to ask, what kind of tattoo? What is the symbol that will be in carved in my body forever?
Anthony 30:08
That is the wonderful thing about this tattoo, you can make that choice and I will do my best to accommodate. If you get too intricate. I mean, I’m okay. But, you know, I can do words. I can do some simple drawings. If you try it, you know, I don’t want to give you a bad tattoo.
Belroth 30:25
No, I don’t want to get a bad tattoo. Especially for 110 gold.
Skarpin 30:29
Yeah, he does great work and a Skrarpin throws up his hand which like, and just heads out.
Belroth 30:40
We’ve all been there. Oh, well. I would like to purchase this lovely tattoo if I could. Okay, and can I, where should I have it?
Anthony 30:54
This is another question I’m not going to answer.
Belroth 30:55
Ok, I would like to have a small long Strider tattoo on my upper hip please.
Anthony 31:02
Ugh, OK.
Belroth 31:05
Where else would I?
Deeran 31:10
To get there? Does Belroth pull his pants down or does he roll th eleg all the way up.
Belroth 31:16
He does like the, he opens it a little bit.
Deeran 31:20
He just tears is open? They’re tear away?
Belroth 31:26
Whatever I need a tattoo. Actually I changed my mind because I realized I’m showing you part of my butt. A small part technically. How about on my, on my foot, which I feel like is an appropriate place and he takes off his shoe. Which is also a horrifying place to get a tattoo. I’ve heard it’s fucking awful.
Anthony 31:47
So what what a what symbol? Are you getting tattooed on your foot
Belroth 31:50
Dealer’s choice? You’re a tiefling I trust you.
Anthony 31:54
I’m sorry, that was me asking you
Belroth 31:56
Dealer’s choice. I trust you. All right. I figured something with yeah Longstrider tattoo. Tell me what we get. Let’s see.
Anthony 32:06
Here’s what I’ll do. I’m typing. Sure. I’ll type Longstrider tattoo into Google and I’m gonna say Feeling Lucky and go to the image search. And we’ll see what we get. Feeling lucky. Okay, great. It’s a bunch of swirls. All right.
Belroth 32:25
That’s fine. Yeah, I see the same thing.
Anthony 32:30
It looks like it might be the tail of a dragon. But the dragons not complete and so he’s not going to complete it either. That’s fine. Just a bunch of swirls the worst tattoo on your foot. He’s like, all right. I know. I said that. I could do pictures and stuff. But really, this is I think, the most elegant design I can do well and he just he creates a bunch of interlocking swirls on your foot.
Belroth 32:51
Well, that was apparently worth zero gold, please. Um,
Anthony 32:58
Was that like your total? You had 110 gold exactly
Skarpin 33:05
Exactomundo
Belroth 33:08
I have 109. So.
I had a bunch of copper and silver.
Anthony 33:19
So Okay. Great.
Belroth 33:25
I have longstrider for free.
Anthony 33:28
So once. Yeah, and you have a number of charges on that equal to the charges that you see on that sheet. Sure. And so save the charges and save the spellstone charge amount. So it has one charge, but it only costs two spellstones to recharge it. That’s pretty good.
Belroth 33:47
That’s not the worst. That seems like an okay, that’s an okay deal. I’ll take it. Where do I put this in my inventory? I don’t even know. Where’s the tattoo section? Magic item. Miscellaneous possessions, here we go.
Anthony 34:03
I possess a tattoo.
Deeran 34:05
Body description
Anthony 34:07
Bonds. You’re now bonded to this tattoo. You’re stuck with it.
Too longstrider
Deeran 34:14
Your spell sheet.
Anthony 34:18
Okay, so now what? For the four of you? Oh,
Deeran 34:26
Oh no.
Belroth 34:27
What’s the matter Deeran?
Deeran 34:30
Oh, no, this is Oh no, Mike. Oh, no.
Anthony 34:32
What?
Deeran 34:34
I realized I didn’t do my bonds, my ideals, my flaws. I don’t know who this character is. I’m having
Ellori 34:45
I think you’re 19 pages of backstory will cover it.
Anthony 34:54
Hey, everybody, if you could send me three paragraphs on your character that would be great. Not three pages.
Deeran 35:02
I mean I only hit enter three times
Skarpin 35:06
That made it so much worse.
Ellori 35:12
Okay, great.
Anthony 35:13
So you know you guys all you go in the shop you do your thing you leave the shop Belroth goes in and then spends like 40 minutes in the shop getting a tattoo
Deeran 35:25
Darran is laying on Deeran is laying on the grass and Freya is like pawing at him because he’s laid on top of the snacks.
Anthony 35:37
I do like that roughly everyone in this group is roughly pretty much the same height you know that’s a nice aspect of this group.
Ellori 35:50
Skarpin could you move just like a like a foot to your right?
Skarpin 35:55
Yeah, sure. Yes.
Ellori 35:58
And that blocks out the sun
Skarpin 36:00
And Skarpin loves the sun so they’re a great team.
Belroth 36:06
Freya also loves the sun. They’re both just sunning themselves at this point.
Skarpin 36:11
No, we don’t even mind that it’s been three hours and 40 minutes.
Anthony 36:15
Belroth, you come out Hobbling. Yep, yep.
Belroth 36:23
All right,
Skarpin 36:23
With that unnecessary cellophane on his leg.
Belroth 36:27
No it’s necessary. Very necessary.
Skarpin 36:30
No
Belroth 36:30
Spellophane, please. This is a magic tattoo.
Deeran 36:37
That’s canon.
Anthony 36:38
If you take it off too early, it’ll leak out.
Belroth 36:41
I’m now thinking of like tupperwares and like goods like wrapped in Spellophane. You can take it home.
Ellori 36:54
Are y’all ready to go see Hoburn?
Skarpin 36:56
Oh, yes, let’s do it. I want to want to get on a new adventure as quickly as we can.
Deeran 37:01
I mean, we’re not in a rush, man.
Skarpin 37:05
Oh, this is exciting, we have never been a part of Adventure Incorporated. We can go do great things now.
Deeran 37:11
All right.
Ellori 37:14
Deeran. Did you want to go to the library?
Deeran 37:19
Nah, man, like I want to go. I just wanted, you know, I want to go like a little slower than Skarpin does. He’s like, he’s at like, 11 right now. And like, I don’t know, I’m feeling like a six.
Skarpin 37:32
Oh, no, we should hurry. And Skarpin hurrying is walking very slowly. So.
Belroth 37:39
No one asked if I wanted to go to the library, but I feel like Skarpin made the decision. So I’m gonna follow Skarpin. He says.
Ellori 37:46
Did you want to go to the library?
Belroth 37:48
No, it’s fine. No one asked. And he ahead to Skarpin.
Skarpin 37:54
Skarpin is not that far away so we can hear. Oh, sorry, buddy did you
Belroth 37:58
No, no, you’ve made a decision. I don’t feel I don’t like changing my mind.
Skarpin 38:02
Oh okay, great. And he continues on.
Deeran 38:04
Derran gives Freya like two big scratches on her ear then like hops up, like ambles toward the group catching up very easily.
Skarpin 38:15
Stupid long legger.
Anthony 38:21
Okay. So the four of you make your way to the Hoburns. Hoburn is a broker and a brokers job is to act as the go between from the guilds and a lot of guild members. So he runs messages. He’s a drop off point for adventurers like adventurers who are traveling around will stop at brokers in different places to get messages or to send gear from one place to another and to get contracts. A lot of the adventuring or other kinds of guilds will send contracts to brokers to distribute. So he’s your point person for both the commission Legion which you’ve been working for and Adventure Incorporated. You head into Hoburn’s office. There is a young half elf woman sitting behind the Hoburn’s desk. And she’s like, Can I help you?
Skarpin 39:23
Oh, yes, yes. We are looking for Hoburn. We are members of Adventure Incorporated.
Anthony 39:31
Hoburn. There’s people here. He’ll be right out.
Skarpin 39:40
Thank you so much. Thank you so much. My mind is slipping lately. What what is your name again?
Anthony 39:47
It’s Teavana
Ellori 39:48
It’s Teavana don’t you remember?
Unknown Speaker 39:51
Oh, oh I do now.
Anthony 39:52
It’s not. It’s Tiveana is what I.
Belroth 39:57
Nope, Teavana. She loves loose leaf tea and upselling you.
Anthony 40:05
I’m going to say Tiveana, but it’s ok if you keep calling her Teavana.
Deeran 40:12
I prefer to think that Teavana is subtle burn on Rob for that like three months where he was super into loose leaf tea.
Belroth 40:18
I was very into loose leaf tea for one semester in college.
Deeran 40:23
Spending hundreds of dollars in teavana.
Belroth 40:28
All of the money I didn’t have.
Deeran 40:30
Everything tasted the same.
Belroth 40:32
Kind of yeah. Maybe I don’t like tea.
Anthony 40:39
One time Rob but very expensive t picked by monkey.
Belroth 40:42
Yeah, monkey picked Oolong. You knock you knock monkey pick oolong. But how many things do you own that have been picked by monkeys? Huh? How many? Name them, I’ll wait.
Anthony 40:57
I will say you let me drink it. It was very good.
Belroth 41:00
Mokey picked oolong is delicious. It’s the one tea that has stuck from that phase.
Skarpin 41:07
Monkey picked oolong.
Belroth 41:08
It’s a real thing!
Deeran 41:10
It’s like knock off Kopi Luwak coffee.
Belroth 41:13
No, that’s just animal abuse. Which I’ve also have. It is not worth the hype.
Anthony 41:19
As opposed to forcing monkeys to pick tea.
Belroth 41:23
Forcing monkeys to pick tea, eat it, shit it out, and then you drink it.
Anthony 41:28
They would be picking that tea whether you made them or not.
Skarpin 41:33
They keep bringing it home for their family and making tea for them.
Belroth 41:41
You understand why I got monkey picked oolong because that image is adorable.
Ellori 41:47
Teavana you look so lovely today. Did you do something new to your hair?
Anthony 41:54
No.
Ellori 41:55
Oh, it just looks a little brighter than normal.
Anthony 41:59
Hoburn!
Ellori 42:00
Not to say that. I wasn’t trying to say that. I wasn’t I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to say that it was that it’s dull ever I’m just saying that like you have an extra like radiant about you today.
Anthony 42:12
There’s a crash and Hoburn comes stumbling into the room. He looks around. He’s like Oh, hello there. I’ve been waiting for you.
Skarpin 42:25
Hoburn Hoburn things went great we we’re there we’re now the newest members of Adventure Incorporated The Expedition Society of Sudden Adventures.
Anthony 42:37
The The Expedition Society of Sudden Adventures. All right. I like that. Yes, that’s a good name. A little mouthful a bit a bit long, I’d say. All right. All right. Uh, Teavana get out of here. I guess it’s Teavana now.
Belroth 42:55
Get out of here Teavana, go hang out with your boyfriend Starbucks.
Anthony 43:02
Go get go get cleaning up our back is something. She sigh and stands up and leaves.
Ellori 43:08
Bye Teavana.
Anthony 43:11
She does she does not respond.
Skarpin 43:12
I wonder if she’s secretly wanted to become an adventurer. Aw.
Deeran 43:18
Deeran sneaks out back with Teavana real quick.
Anthony 43:24
Okay.
Deeran 43:27
I’ll be right back. Please. I was I was using my sneaking walk. And then he like it goes into the back.
Anthony 43:39
She’s sweeping. And she rolls her eyes toward you as you walk in, like the the move is both an eye roll and a turning towards you.
Skarpin 43:50
Don’t worry Deeran that’s how it starts.
Deeran 43:54
Hey, what’s the secret stuff you heard lately?
Anthony 43:59
Deran, I keep telling you I don’t I there’s no secret stuff here. Hoburn is the most boring person I have ever met on the planet. There’s nothing secret going on here. Ever.
Deeran 44:10
You see anything weird happening in town? Like we’ve been gone a week like two weeks maybe even like there’s got to be something.
Anthony 44:17
You’re right. I forgot I forgot how long you were gone. Yesterday. A three headed man came through
Deeran 44:23
No!
Anthony 44:23
He scooped up three of the town’s children and ate them in the town square in a ritual that summoned an Elder God right here in town and we chased him away with a broom.
Deeran 44:33
Oh my god, I missed it?!
Anthony 44:36
Yep, you totally missed
Deeran 44:38
What did he look like?
Anthony 44:40
Um he he’s sort of it’s weird. He looked like Skarpin like a three heads of Skarpin but like at different ages. And he said three times is Deeran here? and you weren’t here. So we just said no.
Deeran 44:51
No. Oh man. That’s so sweet. And he pulls out his spell book and writes everything she said in the back of the book.
Anthony 45:03
I can’t I totally forgot to tell you I meant to. I meant to let you know when I saw you.
Deeran 45:08
There’s a lot of question marks. Like around everything. I’m gonna have to check this out. I’m gonna thank you so much for the lead Teavana Hey, and he flips her gold.
Anthony 45:20
She keeps she like catches it and looks at it. It’s like, Okay.
Deeran 45:27
He slams his bookshelf as he walks back into the room.
Belroth 45:33
Now, now Hoburn now that The Expedition Society for Studies and Adventure are certified with Adventure Incorporated. We are here as we were meant to be.
Anthony 45:45
He’s got a book out. He’s writing down a bunch of things. He says, Okay, okay, let’s see here. Now I can start giving you some real contracts. Yeah, I think you know, you are probably the first group I’ve ever had. That successfully transitioned from commissioned Legion work to adventuring work. This is exciting. This is I see big things in your future.
Deeran 46:07
Deeran snaps a book open and writes down everything he just said like word for word. And slams it shut again.
Skarpin 46:14
Big things.
Anthony 46:16
Yeah. So let’s see here, right. You’re looking to do something, something good now? I mean, I don’t want to I don’t want to oversell you too hard. I know. You know, it’s just a piece of paper you sign but I think you guys are capable of maybe being going a little extra mile.
Skarpin 46:31
I think so too. I think we’re very capable. Gives the biggest thing you got?
Anthony 46:36
Well, I’m not gonna go that far. Right. You know, I get a lot of maybe more seasoned adventurers that make their way through here. We give them dealing with things like, you know, giant attacks. Wyvern sightings says things like that. See this little move beyond you guys right now?
Skarpin 46:54
Oh, well.
Ellori 46:56
I mean, my grandma always says you got to start where you can start. Hmm.
Anthony 47:02
True. Very, very true. Saying fine. Wait, is there a lot of uh, is that applicable a lot of places? I mean, I guess to sorta, she said all the time and what?
Ellori 47:12
She said it all the time. You know.
Anthony 47:15
Okay. All right.
Ellori 47:15
You start your sheep shearing, and you got to start where you can start, you can’t start where you can’t start. If you start too far, if you start too, too close, you know, you got to just start where you can start.
Anthony 47:27
Here, I find that it’s always the first place I start that I start, you know,
Ellori 47:32
That’s a good one!
Anthony 47:36
So let’s see here. I got a contract that might interest you.
Skarpin 47:40
Yes!
Anthony 47:41
From it’s from the palace. They issued the contract out to Adventure Incorporated. Adventure Incorporated, passed it back this way. I’m happy to broker this deal for you if you’re interested.
Skarpin 47:52
A royal mission. Yes!
Belroth 47:55
That sounds big. Although, I’m curious about this waiver in your speaking of I actually I’ve known I study I actually study Chimerology. I think I’ve mentioned this to you before, and so I’m very interested in several, you know, mythical beasts and their biology and their their taxonomy, actually, so I was wondering if we could actually be put in that one
Anthony 48:20
No well, that one
Belroth 48:20
I feel like my interest and my specialties would be very well suited. So.
Anthony 48:25
Yeah, I know. I don’t disagree, but unfortunately, I think that probably ain’t you and that’s but it’s not really where I want to be right now. So I’m gonna I’m gonna I got another thing here. It looks like
Deeran 48:37
It’s the elder God, isn’t it man?
Anthony 48:41
What is he talking about? Is that something I don’t know about.
Deeran 48:44
It’s the elder God that came and asked for us. Me. Us.
Skarpin 48:51
What? Wait,
Anthony 48:53
Yeah, okay. I yeah, you’re right, Deeran. You’re totally right. Let’s see here. If you can, I’m gonna send the for you two towns over. There’s an old warehouse there that they was used to store a lot of grain. Apparently a bunch of Kobolds have moved in, taken the place. Oh, they call themselves the Shattered Fang. And you gotta you gotta go in there and deal with these Kobolds? You know, nobody likes having their property stolen by a bunch of tiny lizard people. So if you could just go and take them out, that would make it would make everybody a lot happier. And we can put this contract in the books and I can pay you guys. You know, some some gold some real gold for one. Okay.
Skarpin 49:40
That’s great. Consider them dead. Now. What’s the next one?
Belroth 49:43
Yes.
Anthony 49:44
Well, why don’t you do this one. And then and then we’ll worry about the next one after. You usually have one at a time.
Belroth 49:52
That one could be the next one.
Anthony 49:55
Well, okay, we’ll see.
Skarpin 49:57
Well, we won’t let you down and we can do this right now. What do you think y’all? Are we ready?
Deeran 50:03
And the kobolds know more about the elder God?
Anthony 50:08
I’m not sure I can’t tell you but uh, you know, they don’t know less. They don’t know less about the elder God. How about that?
Deeran 50:17
Sounds about right man.
Skarpin 50:19
What do you think Deeran?
Deeran 50:22
Let’s do it. Let’s get it man. Let’s get to the bottom with all this.
Skarpin 50:29
Okay, we’re ready. We’re all stocked up from the store that we went to.
Anthony 50:36
The contract is for it leads you to a town to the west called Stag Hallow. That is deeper in Mughamar.
Ellori 50:47
I’m sorry. ‘If out on the road by in kobolds in your home.’
Anthony 51:01
I don’t know what this is a reference to.
Ellori 51:02
It’s a Gilmore Girls
Deeran 51:04
Can we stop off at Lugg’s cafe when we get to Stags Hallow?
Anthony 51:09
Is there a town named Stag Hallow.
Ellori 51:11
Stars Hollow it just really reminded me of it. It’s close enough.
Anthony 51:11
Okay.
Ellori 51:11
Mostly I’m just mad at Mikey for not jumping on the bit.
Skarpin 51:21
I couldn’t I couldn’t remember anyone’s name aside from Rory. Honestly, I could have thrown that in there.
Ellori 51:29
Is there a Rory??
Anthony 51:33
We can see Rory when we go there? This is why we called out references before people. We’re slipping.
Ellori 51:50
That was a Gilmore Girls reference.
Belroth 51:52
Thank you. Oh, I didn’t watch so.
Deeran 51:55
That was a made up cafe that I just came up with right off the spot. Entirely organic.
Skarpin 52:01
I didn’t recognize that from anything. So.
Deeran 52:03
Yeah, I was just doing a, you know, I thought we were all playing the same game. I guess not.
Belroth 52:07
Doing a funzy.
Anthony 52:11
Okay.
Ellori 52:11
I’ll know who my favorite listeners are after this episode.
Deeran 52:18
No pressure listeners.
Belroth 52:21
Join our Discord. Check it out or whatever.
Anthony 52:27
Check the show notes. How about that? All right. So the four of you are going to head out on this adventure.
Belroth 52:37
Yeah, yeah, I figured.
Deeran 52:39
Would someone stay home?
Anthony 52:46
Here’s the thing everyone else does. Right? Most people stay home. Adventuring, is not for the faint of heart and you are a cut above just by stepping out your front door and heading out onto the road. And so in some ways, you’re to be commended for how brave you are for even trying no matter how this turns out.
Skarpin 53:09
Man Scorpion would eat that up.
Deeran 53:11
Now I’m nervous about the foreshadowing. That alone makes me want to turn do it into a homebody. Thank you.
Anthony 53:22
You’re welcome. Now you have the proper sense of stakes
Belroth 53:26
And a three page background.
Anthony 53:32
Okay, so the four of you head out onto the road and traveling is pretty quick in this area. The roads are well worn. They are maintained by the Empire and this area is pretty safe. You know there’s some forests to your to the north that you deal with pretty regularly. But they’re, it’s relatively safe traveling and you don’t really run into a whole lot of issues. The town that you’re headed to is it’ll take you about a full day to get there and so you are going to wind up sleeping on the road. How does making camp work for this group? When when The Exploration Society stops for the night? You know, how does that process work between you all?
Belroth 54:37
Well. Good.
Ellori 54:40
I think Ellori would sing a little lullaby. Get everyone tucked in.
Belroth 54:47
While we’re pitching tents and trying not to fall asleep.
Anthony 54:51
Everyone’s like, oh Ellori please stop.
Deeran 54:54
Oh god. Oh god. I’m so hungry.
Belroth 54:59
I wish I had some monkey picked oolong right now.
Ellori 55:03
I imagine they have like a nice little like friends campfire like a little chill, camp experience. This is still so new to them that like I feel like these overnight would like.
Deeran 55:17
Yeah, it’s like a sleepover. It’s like a camping trip. Yeah,
Skarpin 55:23
There’re so excited. Just chat all night.
Deeran 55:25
Deeran obviously has the s’mores materials in his pack. What’s left of them?
Anthony 55:34
There is a unique consumption situation happening with Skarpin and with Ellori so while bill Belroth and Freya and Deeran in our eating trail rations, Ellori let’s talk a little bit about what your routine life is like for you when it comes to the the sustenance you crave
Ellori 56:00
Well, so first of all, if they have s’mores, she’s definitely gonna put little mini marshmallows on either each of her fangs make some monster noises just because
Skarpin 56:12
Ellori I love that bit every time.
Ellori 56:14
I think that’s hilarious, so, um, if I had vampire fangs, that’s what I would do. Um, but Ellori so Ellori’s daily routine involves it’s more of like a morning thing. So like she will typically be I guess first first one up last watch so that she can go out and hunt a little bit. Typically a rabbit or you know, some small animal that she can drain it’s blood.
Anthony 56:52
For her regular sustenance. As is true with vampyr if she drains an animal that will last her about 24 hours. If she consumes blood from one of the touched that will last her a week so that’s just not a thing she typically does I take it?
Ellori 57:11
It’s not um, so she is she’s more used to animals and she’s never you know up till up till now she’s never had a problem finding an animal even like in town going to the butcher things like that like she’s able to make do draining small creatures each day.
Anthony 57:33
And now Skarpin and yours is a little bit different. You have an all consuming all the ways their hunger that while you are traveling outside the deadlands is simply insatiable as a corporation. How does Skarpin deal with that?
Skarpin 57:52
Yeah as half corpsen when he’s on watch, he volunteers for watch a lot so you can get some alone time and hunt but like very close to the camp. So he’s probably neglecting his duties a bit. But he hasn’t been found out yet. So he’ll try and hunt something and consume it and just try to take that edge off a little bit as he goes and if there’s any self control left him he’ll just keep the animal near so that Ellori can come and get some get a snack too. Yeah,
Ellori 58:33
Yeah, I think they work well together.
Anthony 58:35
Yeah, and Ellori, you’re, a half elf. So you trance but you don’t sleep right? Or your full elf?
Deeran 58:45
You can’t just ask someone if they’re a full elf.
Ellori 58:51
I am a full elf.
Anthony 58:52
Okay, so yeah, so you don’t even like you trance four hours. That’s your long rest. So I think probably between the two between you and Skarpin and Skarpin goes out and hunts you go out and hunt you guys have the night covered Belroth and Deeran get like a full night’s sleep.
Deeran 59:07
That’s right baby.
Belroth 59:08
Every time and what’s funny is Belroth is like a decent hunter so he like hunts small game that he can use to train with Freya. And Skarpin is like I don’t want anyone to know. So he just has like dead squirrels he’s using to give to Freya for training.
Skarpin 59:24
And they disappear sometimes. Y
Deeran 59:31
Deeran he is mostly eat snacks.
Belroth 59:37
Oh, he’s such a trail mix kid he totally is.
Deeran 59:41
But like only that he’s the kid who eats all the m&ms and raisins out of the trail mix and leaves all the healthy stuff. For others. He’s definitely got like a slightly paler not in the same way Skarpin does or Ellori for that matter. Different.
Belroth 1:00:01
Is Belroth the only healthy looking one amongst us?
Deeran 1:00:06
I mean it depends on your definition of healthy, man.
Belroth 1:00:09
So yes.
Deeran 1:00:17
As his sleeves rolled down you see just how like translucent and like like blinding. Everybody had this roommate in college right that like hyper thin, never leaves roomate.
Anthony 1:00:33
If you didn’t, you were that roomate.
Ellori 1:00:39
Ellery has vampyr skin but like, like real like Rosie like she’s like a bright vampyr.
Anthony 1:00:47
Yeah, the blood goes right to your cheeks
Ellori 1:00:49
Yeah, to my cheeks.
Deeran 1:00:50
We can tell how hungry you are based on how flushed
Ellori 1:00:56
Oh, I love that.
Anthony 1:00:58
So the four of you travel the rest of the day you make your way, you sleep overnight. You get up in the morning you travel to the the town of stag hollow, and you it does not take long for you to discover exactly what’s going on in this town. The town is very small. And it almost looks like a warzone has been set up around this old warehouse. On the door of the warehouse a large like scrawled into the door with like claws is an image of a fang broken and segmented into several pieces. It’s still recognizable as a fang but there’s all of these broken, like not carved pieces in between. And it looks like us like a makeshift fence from bits of things that they were able to acquire inside jammed into the ground. These kobolds have set up a perimeter around this warehouse they have you know solidly staked it out. And there are three kobolds standing guard outside, all of them carrying spears, hassling anyone who walks by like the town is kind of trying to ignore these kobolds. You know, mostly you can tell a lot of people are avoiding this area, but some people like half to go by and when they go by the kobolds are just jeering and throwing things at them. And they’re trying very hard to ignore the existence of these kobolds who have, you know, really taken this spot over?
Skarpin 1:02:40
Yes, this makes sense. As I was walking the dreamscape last night, I sensed a lot of frustration around the area, and these kobolds seem to be giving this town a rough time, so it’s a good thing we are here.
Belroth 1:02:56
How close are we to these kobolds? Are we still like approaching?
Anthony 1:03:01
Yeah, you’re still approaching? You’ve got a good distance
Belroth 1:03:03
Oh, well, should we just kind of, should I just try and snipe them from over here?
Skarpin 1:03:10
Yeah, ok.
Ellori 1:03:12
I mean, it would be, it feels like it’d be rude to just take them out.
Belroth 1:03:18
Was the contract not to kill them? Or was it to just it was just to kick them out?
Skarpin 1:03:23
Deal with them is what it says right here.
Belroth 1:03:25
That is vague. You are right. You are correct.
Skarpin 1:03:29
I did say that we’re as good as dead. I would hate for my you know, to break my word on our first contract with Adventure Incorporated.
Belroth 1:03:35
We’ve put ourselves between a rock and a hard place, really.
Ellori 1:03:39
Well, I just feel like to know what they want would be a productive, you know, use of our time and conversational skills.
Skarpin 1:03:47
That’s fair. Well, that’s fair.
Deeran 1:03:49
You think there anything like those goblins? Do you think it’s even going to be worth our time? Or should we just Should we just get them?
Ellori 1:03:57
I feel like if we had had a little more time with those goblins we really could have gotten to them.
Deeran 1:04:01
Yeah, I don’t think that’s true, man. They weren’t going anywhere.
Skarpin 1:04:07
It didn’t even make sense. They weren’t living in the trees. Why do they care if we were cutting them down?
Deeran 1:04:12
Go for it Ellori.
Ellori 1:04:14
Okay. Hello, excuse me!
Anthony 1:04:19
As you approach calling out to these kobolds, they snap to attention pointing their spears outward at you. One of them is chittering. You know, do you speak draconic, does anyone here speak draconic?
Skarpin 1:04:36
Is this the kobolds asking?
Anthony 1:04:39
Yeah, real quick, uh, before we start. I can speak in common I just prefer draconic.
Deeran 1:04:47
Draconic is my first language. It just feels more natural to me.
Belroth 1:04:54
I do not
Deeran 1:04:55
Same.
Anthony 1:04:56
Okay, so they’re chittering in a language you don’t, none of you understand. You think it might be draconic.
Deeran 1:05:07
10 Gold says we have to fight them.
Ellori 1:05:13
Sorry, we were just wondering if you all could, leave.
Anthony 1:05:20
You. Speak. Common?
Ellori 1:05:24
I do. Yes.
Anthony 1:05:26
You. Speak. Dragon?
Ellori 1:05:30
No, I’m sorry don’t.
Anthony 1:05:35
We. Speak. Dragon.
Ellori 1:05:39
No, that’s so good for you.
Anthony 1:05:41
And common.
Ellori 1:05:43
I mean, that’s impressive.
Anthony 1:05:47
What? Want
Ellori 1:05:50
Uh, we would want you to leave this warehouse.
Anthony 1:05:58
He points behind him. Church.
Ellori 1:06:00
Oh, sorry. We want you to leave this church.
Anthony 1:06:06
No, our church.
Ellori 1:06:10
Can you tell us who gave it to you?
Anthony 1:06:14
We.
Ellori 1:06:21
You?
Anthony 1:06:23
Yes, we give.
Ellori 1:06:26
Oh, you took it for yourselves?
Anthony 1:06:31
Yes, take we take.
Ellori 1:06:33
Ah. And do you think you might want to give it back to the people who had it first?
Anthony 1:06:42
He turns to his buddy beside him and they chitter each other and he turns to the other one. He chitters and he looks back. No.
Ellori 1:06:52
Ellori turns around and says winters breath I don’t know if we’re gonna get through to them.
Belroth 1:06:57
Should I try and try the new corralling and herding techniques I’ve been working with Freya on. Try and just kind of heard them out of the area. Nip at their heels see if they move.
Skarpin 1:07:12
Belroth I don’t know how successful it’s going to be. Like she’s actually over there again. She’s very far away.
Belroth 1:07:19
Oh, no Freya. Please stop rolling. Oh, she’s not Oh, she’s very allergic to those flowers. Oh, no. She shouldn’t be rolling in those. Oh, well, how do you with that after? We
Anthony 1:07:31
We okay. You leave?
Ellori 1:07:36
Yeah, sorry. These are my friends.
Skarpin 1:07:41
Hello.
Anthony 1:07:43
He waves.
Ellori 1:07:44
Our group is gonna take the church.
Anthony 1:07:50
No, no, our our church.
Belroth 1:07:54
They are very small. What if we just picked them up and moved them?
Skarpin 1:07:58
Oh, they have, sharp thing.
Belroth 1:08:00
Oh, true.
Deeran 1:08:04
Hey, uh
Skarpin 1:08:05
You give bigger church?
Deeran 1:08:09
What, like, what are y’all worshiping in there anyway?
Anthony 1:08:15
We worship shattered Fang.
Deeran 1:08:20
Is that like an elder God?
Anthony 1:08:27
He grabs his, he sticks his hands out and tilts his head back and roars a little bit and waggles his arms and chitters.
Deeran 1:08:40
Does that mean anything to me?
Anthony 1:08:43
Not unless you know what he was just saying?
Deeran 1:08:46
No, I mean, Shattered Fang or the like motions that he was making?
Anthony 1:08:52
No.
Deeran 1:08:53
Okay. Great.
Anthony 1:08:57
We worship, shattered Fang. Shattered. Shattered Fang. Here.
You worship shattered? Fang.
Skarpin 1:09:12
Yes. Yeah, yes. Yes, we do. Uh, we were just looking for, yes. We didn’t know where the church was. That’s what Ellori was meaning. We were going to take it for our own.
Anthony 1:09:26
His buddy looks at him and chitters at him, and he chitters back raises his hands. Like, like, he doesn’t know and he turns back. He says, He say, you know, worship, Shattered Fang.
Skarpin 1:09:38
He doesn’t know what he’s talking about clearly.
Deeran 1:09:41
Yeah, man. He’s like, super wrong. We love We love Broken Tooth, shattered Fang, man. We just call him something different. You know? It’s all the same, though.
Skarpin 1:09:54
It’s all connected. That’s right. That’s right, Deeran.
Deeran 1:09:57
Yeah. That’s my line.
Ellori 1:10:01
Ellori is gonna do like she’s gonna mimic what the kobol did with like her hands up. And she’s gonna, like, look up to the sky and say, yeah, we love the Shattered Fang. Shattered Fang Shattered Fang Shattered Fang Shattered Shattered.
Anthony 1:10:16
They chitter at each other. He says, we vote. I lose.
Ellori 1:10:24
What’s your name?
Anthony 1:10:28
He chitters at you.
Belroth 1:10:30
Oh, Carl.
Ellori 1:10:31
So nice to meet you.
Belroth 1:10:32
His name is Carl.
Deeran 1:10:35
I didn’t hear Carl. Man. Can you say it one more time?
Anthony 1:10:44
ChitterCarlo
Belroth 1:10:44
Carlo
Deeran 1:10:45
You know, you gotta you gotta like put a thing on it like a, you know, you gotta put a little bit of, like, come on man. Try and meet where he’s at, like that’s his name.
Skarpin 1:10:56
Carlo
Belroth 1:10:59
Sorry, I tried to channel my infernal accent. It didn’t make it better. All right.
Anthony 1:11:05
I lost. You no come in.
Skarpin 1:11:08
Oh, okay. Great. You said we we come in right?
Anthony 1:11:13
No
Skarpin 1:11:14
Oh, the opposite.
Anthony 1:11:16
Yeah. You no come in.
Skarpin 1:11:18
I really looking forward to worshipping the Shattered Fang? today.
Belroth 1:11:25
Weren’t we all.
Anthony 1:11:27
The question inflection on that. Shattered Fang?
Ellori 1:11:33
Could you give us just a minute, Carlo? Please.
Anthony 1:11:38
No cross line.
Ellori 1:11:39
Oh, no, we’re just gonna go over back over here a little bit.
Anthony 1:11:43
Oh, they say we throw things when you leave.
Skarpin 1:11:49
Yeah, that’s fair.
Ellori 1:11:53
What kind of things?
Skarpin 1:11:55
I’ll stand in back.
Anthony 1:11:59
He points that the ground it’s just junk on the ground from like, boxes they’ve broken and little pieces of wood and rocks. Like nothing very egregious. Like, it looks like pebbles, mostly. Just bits of stuff. They’re gonna throw them at you.
Skarpin 1:12:20
Ellori, I feel like that’s fine. We can
Belroth 1:12:23
We’ll side bar. We’ll deal with the pebbles I guess. Yes.
Anthony 1:12:29
He chitters.
Skarpin 1:12:31
Skarpin walks away.
Anthony 1:12:33
You get like plinked with two things on the back Skarpin as you’re in the back of the group, like a rock just like plink off your shell. A little piece of wood.
Belroth 1:12:41
Alright, team huddle. Everyone get in here. What if we promised them a different church in a very distant city?
Skarpin 1:12:50
And then didn’t give it to them?
Belroth 1:12:52
They’d have to go there.
Deeran 1:12:54
What if we just like killed them? There’s three of them.
Belroth 1:12:57
See, this was my suggestion. But everyone voted it down at first, so I don’t feel like we should revisit it.
Deeran 1:13:02
I didn’t vote. I just let y’all talk about it.
Skarpin 1:13:07
And I’m kind of happy we discussed it. I love learning about different religions in different areas. So I chalk this up to a win.
Belroth 1:13:15
What do you think Ellori?
Ellori 1:13:17
No, I mean, I think that they’re not going to give it up. I don’t think that we have a church in another place that we can promise to them because that feels lying feels almost worse than killing
Belroth 1:13:26
Oh, it would definitely be a lie.
Ellori 1:13:31
So I think that if we want to just fulfill our contract, then we can, you know. She like makes like, like, dying gestures. I am here to support you all for this. I am I am I’m part of the team.
Belroth 1:13:56
Okay.
Ellori 1:13:57
And I, if we if we got to kill it, you know, got to kill a few kobolds in order to get your, uh. I’m not as good at saying things as my grandmother’s.
Skarpin 1:14:08
We’ve gotta kill a few kobolds, I think you said it great.
Belroth 1:14:15
You got to kill a few kobolds to save a church. It’s a good saying we’ll work on it. We’ll, workshop.
Skarpin 1:14:21
Yeah. Okay. So we’re in agreeance. Okay, great.
Belroth 1:14:27
So on the count of three we all turn and just start unloading.
Skarpin 1:14:31
Yeah, I may walk up to them and then start unloading but yeah.
Belroth 1:14:34
We’ll wait for you to get there and then we’ll start unloading.
Skarpin 1:14:41
Skarpin starts his way towards them.
Anthony 1:14:44
You break the huddle and you turn and standing between you and the kobolds is a figure that you have met before someone you have some familiarity with. This is Wesley Tallow. He is is a Dark Elf in long robes, and he wears like a deep hood to cover like most of his, like a big cloak. He’s the adventurer for Adventure Incorporated, who was your, basically the person who, like sponsored you and supported you into Adventure Incorporated, and he has a bit of a panicked look on his face. The other thing is though, the last few times you’ve seen Wesley he always you know, he seems to be a bit loose. Maybe a little inebriated. intoxicated. That does not seem to be the case right now. He has a very intense and serious look on his face. I have found you good. There is no time to waste
Deeran 1:15:55
We’re like doing a thing man like we’re doing Adventure Incorporated stuff right now. I’m glad you’re here.
Anthony 1:16:04
This is unimportant. This is this is not important thing to do.
Deeran 1:16:10
I don’t know man. We’re gonna get paid for it.
Belroth 1:16:12
We are getting paid for this.
Skarpin 1:16:14
Wesley we can’t mess this up. This is our first contract.
Anthony 1:16:17
I have very important task I need you for you for especially you are the most important group I could find. Oh, wait, really? Why
Skarpin 1:16:28
Really? Really?
Deeran 1:16:31
That makes sense. Man.
Belroth 1:16:32
Does it?
Deeran 1:16:34
Yeah, I could feel it like I knew. This is about the elder God, isn’t it man.
Anthony 1:16:39
I do not know what this elder God you speak of is but there is, I think there is great danger happening in this world right now. And I need your help to find out why or where and when.
Skarpin 1:16:52
Who?
Belroth 1:16:53
What?
Anthony 1:16:54
Perhaps who? Perhaps Who? And maybe even what.
Deeran 1:16:57
Why?
Anthony 1:16:59
Yes, indeed.
Ellori 1:17:01
How about you let us kill these kobolds first. Like we’ll do it real fast ANd if you help us then we’ll do it even faster.
Anthony 1:17:12
We have to kill these small creatures?
Deeran 1:17:16
Yeah. They’re like, giving the town a hard time or whatever.
Anthony 1:17:23
It will make things go faster than fine. He pulls back his robe and draws a long sword from his hip. It is long and shimmering. And as he lunges forward, you watch him enter into almost like a trance. As he moves. His body flows like water or like a dance as he moves among these creatures and within seconds as he slices through each of these kobolds. He just obliterates these three creatures who don’t stand a chance with their makeshift spears. His body like he the way he moves through them, it’s like he has anticipated their locations. He has anticipated their movements, and it is so elegant and smooth as he slices through them with the blade. Arcane energy coursing over him while it happens. He stops and he says, are we good now?
Skarpin 1:18:21
Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness
Deeran 1:18:24
Deeran opens the door into the church.
Anthony 1:18:29
It is filled with kobolds.
Hey everyone, DM Anthony here, just reminding you that if you’re enjoying the show, tell your friends. Tell your family. Let people know word of mouth and you can support the show at patreon.com/adventureinc. Or you can check out the shop at adventureincpod.com/shop make sure you check the show notes and the website for all our social media including our discord where you can come and hang out with some great people. We’ll see you there and until next week, I wish you nothing but critical success.
Should I say the thing, should I?
Ellori 1:19:27
You gotta change it up for season two. No, you have to find something new.
Anthony 1:19:36
Okay, here we go.
Deeran 1:19:40
Let’s fucking partayy!
Anthony 1:19:42
I’m not doing that. I would really love that if we like we have some serious scene down the line and that’s how I open. Alright.
Ellori 1:19:53
Let’s fucking Party
Anthony 1:19:54
Alright, ready. Started get let’s. All right.
Deeran 1:20:00
Boo I quit
Belroth 1:20:01
No.
Skarpin 1:20:06
I like the way we started, it’s comforting. Something about this needs to be comforting!
Anthony 1:20:24
Alright Mikey for you then, once more we will begin: let’s get started.
Adventure Incorporated 1:20:33
Serious Business
We’re super serious!